first bday after mom's stroke
So, today is my birthday....45,
arghhhhh. I have never liked my birthday, NEVER! My mom asked my
hubby to bring her her credit card and I had already given her some money.
I kind of figured that she wanted to go to the little gift shop where she is
living. I suppose she had someone take her down but no one stayed with her
to help. Last night she told me that they didn't have any daughter bday
cards but she did have something in her hands. She hands me my $25 back and tells
me that she would like for me to go tho the Hallmark store and look through the
cards as she used to every year and cry over the sayings. Now I am crying
and sadder than usual...I don't like this illness, My mom is so unhappy where
she is at. I feel so so guilty. It is a beautiful place. I did
my very best to decorate her room using all her beautiful furniture and
meaningful things, so it does look like a mini version of her condo. Yet
it is not"her home" and she so hates the "rules" and not being able to do her
own thing.
I made customized cards for her and I yesterday but she told
me she didn't feel like sending cards...probably not just last night but not at
all. She refuses to talk to friends and hangs up on them. Tells
people (except for me, my husband and 2 boys) not to visit or call. I
understand but I am so sad. I am sure she doesn't like what the stroke has done either.
Enough of that, just needed to get it
out!
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