hey Fred :

I am glad you are getting help from your neurologist, what I have learned over time that you can't control others specially your spouse's actions & reactions , only things we can control is how we hoose to react to their behaviour. Only person we can change is ourself. Just by having this mindset I don't have any expectations from him specially on romantic front, he is man of action shows his love by doing service where as I would prefer flowers & hugs. but I know he loves me since he is still here by my side every step of the way. so just learn to accept the differences & appreciates their other plus points.

Asha

I can give you a hug and a prayer to get better but you have to not worry yourself so much. What will be will be so prayer works wonders in my mind! Don't worry get better and let God!

I go through bouts of making more of others actions than is healthy. It usually goes on when I'm experiencing some depression. I try to remind myself that my perceptions are not necessarily on target when I'm feeling this way. It's an ongoing effort for me. I hope the new meds offer an easier time for you. And a (((hug)))

Lisa

I don't have much to add except to say, Jesus arms are wide open and he knows what it is like to need a hug.

-Will

Ive been watching your posts--- you are grieving --- and angry, and hurt, and confussed,and very "raw" from the pain of all of this making you very sensitive to things in the past that would not have bothered you....this is all normal you have much to grieve for.. your whole world has been ripped out from under you..... TALK TALK TALK to your wife tell her you feelings - ---so far and i may be wrong it does not look like you have Talked to councelor or a psychologist??? you need a human to bounce off feelings.... your mourning your life- your future and your past ... your job, your physical abilities and you have a right to mourne... but get some help that is a lot of loss there... nancyl

Frederick: I want to remind you that all you are experiencing and feeling, so is your family. Everyone is coming to their own acceptance, at their own speed.

All these professional follow ups are impertative for you right now. You need the professionals to guide and direct you, to find those things that will help with your recovery. As you gain knowledge as to what is and is not working for you, you share that with family and friends. It is only then that they will be able to get on board and help you.

But this comes from you. You must have positives and plans that you have established. You can not look to others to decide for you. I can be 100% supportive of anything Bruce chooses to do for his recovery, but I have learned over the past three years that Bruce has to make those choices. Then we run with it. Debbie

Ive been watching your posts--- you are grieving --- and angry, and hurt, and confussed,and very "raw" from the pain of all of this making you very sensitive to things in the past that would not have bothered you....this is all normal you have much to grieve for.. your whole world has been ripped out from under you..... TALK TALK TALK to your wife tell her you feelings - ---so far and i may be wrong it does not look like you have Talked to councelor or a psychologist??? you need a human to bounce off feelings.... your mourning your life- your future and your past ... your job, your physical abilities and you have a right to mourne... but get some help that is a lot of loss there... nancyl

Dearest Nancy L and Ethyl,

You two have no idea how right you are and have been in responding to my posts. I am grieving, I am hurt, I am scared and still dont really understand what is happening. I have good days when my brain and everything seems to work just fine. I can do what i need to do, no headaches, little depression (never stops) even talked with someone last week who was interested in hiring me even after learning of the past issues with the stroke. Then along comes the next two days where i feel totally disoriented, confused, cant even hold a coffee cup without dropping it. Cant seem to walk without wobbling and then the mood and emotions go right into that canyon. I try to lock myself away as my wife already has so much on her plate dealing with financial issues that I used to deal with, with her two girls who are both in the terrible "I hate you and everything here" phase of being a teenager and just dealing with the loss of my salary, living from paycheck to paycheck. I am still confused from the neurologist and nuerosurgeon who disagree on the diagnosis. Have been through appts with a counselor, a nueropsychologist, psychyatrist and had additional MRI's done this last week and still no understanding of what really happened or whats going to happen.

But you both are right, I need to recognize all of these things for what they are and I need to decide whats going to happen. I have always been a "get it done and dont BS around" type of guy but that seems to fail me now.

thanks

Rico