Another Trip to the Doctor.....**sigh**
There are things I look forward to about going to see my doctor, and there are things I don't look forward to about going to see my doctor.
I wanted to know how much weight I had lost in the last 3 months. People are starting to comment that my shape is changing. 23 more pounds lighter. That is good.
I didn't want to know about much else, really. I know things have plateaued lately. I didn't know that some things have gotten worse. Frankly, I didn't want to know.
And I really could have lived very happily without knowing that it looks like (from the latest batch of tests, run every 6 months) I've had at least 1 more "silent" stoke. Can those just plain stop, please? No wonder I'm not getting anywhere regaining the strength in my right hand. No wonder there are words that, no matter what language, are just not there any more, and I am told, are likely not to come back. No wonder I seem to lose more memories than I seem to get back or make new.
It's just depressing and I am on a depressive spiral right now. I'll come out of it.
I also didn't want to hear that I HAVE (so says the doctor) to walk with either a cane or the dog, no unaided walks any more. I still lean to much to the right side. The cane gives me something to catch myself with and Monster provides tension which keeps me mostly on my left when I walk with him. Well, that is wht I brought him home for, after all.
I just need to stop feeling angry and depressed about that fact that I will never again be who I was before the stroke. Most days, I can handle that. But doctor visit day, well, it's harder then.
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