WHERE DID ALL THE HELP GO?
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER DONE A BLOG - HOPE IM DOING IT RIGHT...HERE GOES....DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE ME,,,I AM JUST INTO THIS A LITTLE OVER A YEAR NOW AND I AM STILL CRYING OVER JUST ABOUT ANYTHING...I AM ON ZOLOFT AND LAMACTIL FOR THIS BUT EVEN THAT DON' HELP AT TIMES AND TAKE ATIVAN ON REALLY BAD DAYS...IM ALLSO SEEING A THERAPIST....HERE 'S MY ISSUE...I CRY MAINLY AROUND MY KIDS AND I HATE THIS BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY DON'T WANT TO COME AROUND ME ANYMORE...WELL MY OLDEST SON ANYWAY...MY YOUNGER ONE STILL COMES AROUND...HERE IS WHAT I'M FINDING...I THINK MY DAUGHTER IN LAW IS TRYING THE TOUGH LOVE THING WITH ME...I SOOOO DON'T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW....IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS STROKE EVRYONE WANTED TO HELP AND OFFER ANYTHING THEY COULD DO FOR ME...NOW IT'S LIKE A DEATH...YOU KNOW WHEN AFTER SOMEONE DIES YOU GET ALL SORTS OF OFFERS FOR HELP ETC. AND THEN WHEN THEY GET ON WITH LIVING YOU ARE FORGOTTEN WHEN DOWN THE ROAD IT'S THEN THAT YOU NEED THEM...THE TOUGH LOVE ISSUE I AM TALKING ABOUT WITH MY DAUGHTER IN LAW ARE A FEW THINGS LIKE EXCLUDING ME FROM CONVERSATIONS...TURNING HER BACK ON ME IF I START THE CRYING THING...SHE USE TO HELP WITH MY HOUSEWORK AND DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE...WHICH I PAID HER FOR AND NOW WONT GIVE ME A DIRECT ANSWER TO IF SHE WILL STILL DO IT...SO I DONT ASK ANYMORE...SATURDAY THEY BOUGHT A NEW 4 WHEELER AND STOPPED BY...MY YOUNGEST SON AND HIS NEW WIFE STOPPED BY ALSO...EVERYONE WAS TAKING TURNS ON IT AND I WAS SITTING ON THE TAILGATE OF A PICKUP TRUCK...AND HERE COME THOSE TEARS THINKING ABOUT ...ILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN...AND THE GIRLS SAT UNDER A SHADE TREE AND ILL PROBABLY NEVER DO THAT AGAIN CAUSE I CANT GET UP OR DOWN OFF THE GROUND...ALL THE SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED...ALSO I THINK MY DAUGHTER IN LAW DOESNT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WEAR THIS LEG BRACE FOR MY ANKLE..CAUSE SHE KEEPS ASKING WHY I CANT PUT SANDALS,DRESS SHOES ETC. WHEN IVE TOLD HER I HAVE TO WEAR THE BRACE BECAUSE MY FOOT ROLLS TO THE SIDE AND I CAN;T WALK WITHOUT IT.... I WEAR TENNIS SHOES CAUSE ITS THE ONLY THING MY BRACE WILL FIT INTO...NO MORE OFFERS FOR HELP NOR DO THEY ASK ABOUT MY DR APPTS OR PT...I GOT REMARRIED 9 SHORT MONTHS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED AND THINK THEY MAY BE THINKING ...SCREW IT LET HIM TAKE CARE OF HER....I MISS MY KIDS AND HOW THEY USE TO CARE ABOUT ME..IT JUST MAKES ME SO SAD.
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