Living With What We Got Left
It is much harder on some than others because no two strokes or people are alike! Some are stronger than others and the strokes can affect everybody differently and their conditions are just very hard for them to manage I understand that very well! In my case I was never depressed because I had the stroke even though I lost my business, money galore, almost my home but through it all I survived! Then my wife had to quit her job to care for me once I got home from a 5 month stay in the hospital and rehab!
I thought and was told by my friends I would be back on my feet in no time and I would be walking again soon! That time never came my way but I wasn't disappointed instead I was so happy to be alive! I soon learned to walk with lots more therapy enough to use a cane then came a scooter for my use and at that point I felt I was back on my feet in getting! That dreaded WC I used for a few months with my wife pushing had to go so she could get back to work!
Maybe it's a state of mind when we survive a life threatening event but I can say after 8 years now I never needed any depression meds just pain meds because it felt like I hurt from head to toe 24/7! I think what made me feel better was my wife told me in the hospital she would not leave me no matter what she was in this marriage for life! After three failed that was music to my ear and I could handle what ever survival meant I knew I wouldn't be alone!
The big part of stroke survival is how the stroke affected you and the condition you are left to bear so I fully understand that fact! I think now I may very well have been a depressed person had I lost my ability to talk and not knowing but thinking that alone would or can make any survivor angry when you lose the ability to communicate with your spouse!
"Living with what we got left" has it limits and again each person acts differently to circumstances of life tragedies so I'm not saying there should be no depressions just survivors! Oh no it goes on farther than just surviving like trying to get the kids to school or getting them dressed for school with one side weak! There is so much one person must get done and we all don't have partner type care givers and right there is the time we could really hurt ourselves or maybe not want to live the rest of our lives in this manner! I get it! and like I said I really feel blessed this stroke didn't happen years earlier or I could have been hooked on alcohol to survive!
When I make a VA appointment while waiting for names to be called I see many veterans who talks to me wishing they had been killed or could somehow just die now instead of having to live like they are now! I can see myself in their shoes had my wife left me like many of them have been left alone! Some of them lost their wives by natural death or car wrecks in which they were driving but survived! There has to be a guilt feeling right there so they suffer depression in the highest manner I'm sure! There isn't a thing I could tell them that probably hasn't been said before!
Well, I just wanted to make myself clear about this depression thing after I posted a few times then went back and read what I had said! Because they wouldn't make the meds if no one ever got depression! Even some of the wounded guys and gals get depressed from not being able to take care of their kids like they want to do! Others have lost their mates in the war and now everything is on their shoulders in the family structure! Still others lost family members to cancer while they were serving in Iraq and couldn't get to come home not even for the funeral! War is hell! Take care everyone!!
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