Does Anyone Really Care
I’m surrounded by family home but sometimes I really don’t feel the love. I know they love and care about me but not very good at showing it at times. I’m truly thankful that my stroke didn’t cause any real significant problems but the loss of left peripheral vision is enough for me to know that things have changed. But everybody thinks and treats me like nothing happened and minimizes my concerns like it’s no big deal. I suppose if I had a problem that they could actually see it would be different.
Not sure but maybe it’s me because I’m able to completely care for myself and resume my normal activities for the most part but it takes a lot out of me and I never complain so no one even notices when I don’t feel well, except when I’m in bed all day on Saturday recovering from the week, that’s the only time I get to rest. I have long days, getting up at 6 in the morning for work and not getting home until almost 7 in the evenings and then expected to help with dinner or whatever else needs to be done and then it’s almost 8:30 before I have a chance to settle down. No time for myself to just whine down, relax, exercise, etc. Sometimes I just want to come home and do absolutely nothing but that never happens.
It would be nice to get attention sometimes; a simple how are you feeling today, or just a hug to say it will be ok for no reason at all. Everybody wants and needs to feel loved and now I’m really needy plus my feelings get hurt very easily. So the extra attention would be nice. I’m really affectionate and that would mean a lot to me but my family folks are not huggers, just me. So I have to call on a good male friend of mine to get the hugs and comfort I need, and that does me a world of good.
Anyway, as much I love not being alone, I’m almost ready to move out so I can just do me but then I do need some help with getting around and my family is very supportive in that area. So what am I to do, on being completely alone on my own or feeling alone surrounded by people?? I’m leaning towards being on my own because I know my attitude is getting funky by the tone in my voice and my distant behavior so I think it’s time for me to go so that I don’t ruin my relationships with them completely.
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