hi jlight :

I don't have any advice on feeding tube, though have advice on balance & feeling of despair. If possible tell him to start getting active on this board by reading forums or blogs & tell him to start his own blog. for me I found being active on this site , blogging & chatting with other survivors made me feel less alone & found very therupetic for my soul. Also for balance walking more on treadmill helped me big time in my balancce issues.

Asha

well not advice but comisseration is what i have to offer.... my heart is broken to as i watch my husband but i also swell with pride when i see how hard he fights.... dan can not walk independently either due to balance issues....o i walk everywhere with him-- every bathroom trip every where-- we use a wheelchair for longer distances.. dan although he does not have the swallowing issues also just got his peg tube put back in after having it out since he was 3 months post stroke... but he chooses not to eat or drink as both a means to control and he simply lacks the desire to do so-- nothing tastes right...and dan has the same feelings about death.. he is a DNR at the hospital as he has made it clear, he is to have no ressucitation efforts done- if he passes he wants to leave this world... the feedback i get from dans therapists is walking is best therapy to regain balance the repetative motion of it eventually retrains the mind... in dans case i would still walk pretty much everywhere with him as his seizure disorder could cause a devastating fall- couple that with the coumadin. and dan has no antecedents to his seizures so there is no warning- just BAM grand mal seizure................so like i said just comiseration---- you are not alone nancyl

Hi jlight, My fiance' had his stroke in May and he too fights with balance and the feeling of rather being dead if he doesn't get any better! We have tried all things and asked everyone we know about the balance issue but all they can tell us is that it is from the stroke and it should get better over time. His neuro did tell him to try a simple excercise when he gets up out of bed, didn't help him but might help your husband, He said to sit straight up then lean to one side for 5 seconds, sit up straight for 5 seconds, then lean over the other way for 5 seconds, then sit straight back up sit for 5 seconds then stand up. Like I said it didnt work for Mike but who knows if you are like me you will try anything to help them. Let me know how it goes.

For the first time the other night Mike said it out loud that he had rather be dead. Hit me hard too. I didn't cry but I did get mad at him and we had to cool off before we could talk about it. After the talk I realised that I too would probably feel that way if it had been me so I told him he deserved to feel that way sometimes but not all the time! We have our moments of self pity but we can't dwell on them. Hope things get better soon!

Bruce and I are 3 1/2 years in. And I have to say, priorities have changed here - mostly now what Bruce wants to work on. He refuses to walk, exercises rarely, but cognitively is back 99% and understands now that to be left alone in this house, he needs to understand what is safe and what is not.

Way to early to evaluate, but the difference in the past two months is remarkable and I pray every night that finally I have reached the right road to recovery for Bruce.

You set your goals, work every towards them. What works for us, won't necessarily work for others. But the only thing all of us here know, is this is a lifetime toward recovery. Know I am praying for you. Debbie

I just want to say hello wishing I knew what he could do to get his balance back where he wants to live! I think if he really look at this site and see the number of folks here that are survivors and want to live he will change his mind about dying!

Heck we are all glad we survived and getting better takes time and patients with one side paralyzed head to toe!! I use a cane and a scooter, I can drive but I'm right at 9 years as a survivor, 5 months in the hospital and rehab to get where I am now!!

I hope he can sit down at the computer and read all the messages, that would help him very much!! Today 2 October was my last day in therapy so I know to get better I got to keep my body stretched out so it all works together to make me better daily!! Oh and I'm now 71 years of age so since I was 62 it's been a struggle to do what I can do now! It didn't come easy while I sat in my chair!!

I had to put in hard work just to walk with a cane and here he is walking on a treadmill, something I could never do! I can't use a walker either with one hand!!!

Hello, I haded my stroke two years ago, could not walk, use a computor, not cook, and wash myself. My husband was great but he haded to go too work,so did my daughter who have two young children.So I was down, remembering all the things I used to do, I would not talk to my family and family, I just sit there feeling so sorry for myself. One day my daugter said that the grand kids wanted they grandma back. That was it, plus my 83years old father, came over from England and showed me that I had to fight back, and life goes on. Thinking postive, works, and this site has helped me so much. I now walk everyday, slow and steady.Please keep your head up, encouage him to look on this site, and the more he uses the treardmill, he get better. We all went throught a terriable thing and we are survivors, and life is different but wonderful.

Thanks so much to all of you that have commented. I wish I could get him to join this site, I feel if he would talk to someone that has had a stroke it would really help him. I told him that I found this site and there is so much information on it and so many folks that have gone thru or going thru what he is on the site. I truly feel that he is givin up. I encourage but starting to get down myself. My family tells me that I baby him way to much, and that I just need to be firm with him. But I almost lost him and all I can think of is that he is still here and I want to keep him. Even if he nevers walks, at least I can sit and have a conversation with him. He is the love of my life....do I can down and discouraged and want to throw in the towel at times...absolutely, but then I remind myself of where we came from. I work as well as we have to have medical coverage. So I am exhausted by the time I get home and still have therapy to do, supper to cook and the whole gammit of housework. I do have someone that does the yard work, so that's a big help. I went from having supper waiting for me when I got home, laundry done, house clean....(yes, I was a little spoiled), but now have to do it all. Looking forward to the day that he can resume some of these duties and help. He still gets exhausted and has to take a nap during the day, however, much better than before. He was taking a couple of naps. Thanks for all the kind words and advice. God Bless you all. Judy

Dear Judy: If you read my blog - today is the day my son had his stroke 4 yrs post - so now we are starting on no. 5 and it has been a long haul and I would be lying if I didnt say that he too has also said about dying ( a time or too) but I can honestly say that his desire to live is a lot stronger and it has gotten so much better each year. He was almost not here and it took at least close to 2 years for him to come back to wanting to move. He didnt talk, walk, eat. I thought we would lose him to starvation. he went from 160 down to 119...but with God and faith and so many prayers he came around, believe me their were struggles and still are. But he is getting better and better with each day, month year....plus I am a fighter and wouldnt give up on therapies not matter how much time it takes. When I get discouraged and I do. I think of someone who has it so much worse than I do and I see it at therapy. So many who will never walk or have ms or cp and their life will just get worse. Keep the faith. Debbie