butch,

if the peaks are beginning to outnumber the valleys, then you have something to smile about!!! i think it is only natural to be pessimistic, nothing abnornal there , butch. at any rate, when lisa gets to come home will be a MAJOR stepping stone i am quite sure. my thoughts will be with you and your family butch, and i am wishing lisa the best. sounds like she already has a good husband, and in my opinion, that is an excelllent foundation to support recovery!!!!

Butch;

You're going through the normal grieving process, don't feel bad about it.

What helped me out a lot was when Kathy would make the slightest improvements I would make myself get excited like I just recieved the best present of my life. It's not an automatic reflex, you have to force yourself to do those things. After the intial force the emotion usually kicks in and you are truly excited. Great stress relief and moral booster for both of you.

You're doing a great job, don't beat yourself up too much.

Michael

Butch,

As caregivers, I think we all tend to forget that our depression caused by the changes in our lives catches up with us in the most unexpected ways. Like Michael says, don't beat yourself up over the valleys that are a natural part of the process. If you start getting too many valleys and not enought peaks, don't be so proud or "male" that you don't want to ask your doctor for a little temporary chemical help.

Jean

See that's partly it....I sound depressed, but I'm not. Quite the contrary. This past week has been the best in a long time. Both Lisa and I are proud of the fact that neither of us has needed to be put on an anti-depressant. Not that there is anything wrong with that for someone who needs it. It's like I can't be happy about my happiness. I know I should be, but...I can't even put the thought together.

Butch,

Is it like you can't allow yourself to happy because you're sort of mentally staying prepared for something that to go wrong, if you don't keep up your guard? I think that happens a lot.

Jean