Expectations vs. Hope
One of the hardest things about blogging is deciding what you want to accomplish with your blog. Another hard thing is admitting when it's just not working out and that happened to me. Stroke left my emotions in a whirlwind and I thought using my blog to fuss and fume in was much better than unleashing my venom on people in 3-d--whether they deserve it or not! But the sad truth is, this just ain't gittin' it! It only serves to convince me of what others have known all along...I sound like a lunatic!
So, I'm not closing my blog but I'm closing the door on my past blog attempts and changing the tone and purpose of my entries.
To say I grew up with poor role models is the understatement of the century so I had to try to teach myself. Are you seeing a problem here? I am! But thats where this blog is going. I'm going to be trying to sort things out for myself. You can read along and maybe something might make sense to you too. Maybe you'll say, "why should I listen to her? She hasn't figured it out herself!" And that's exactly the point. You may find a nugget that helps you or you may not but if you're expecting to find it, I'm just going to be honest---you're expecting too much.
And that brings up the topic of this blog. Expectations, Hope, frustration and discouragement.
First I want to say that I like certainty and reassurance as much as the next person but I've learned there is very little and so I dislike absolutes. Stroke only reinforced that. I have learned that stroke doesn't care about my expectations one iota! Does doing my exercises bring recovery? In my experience, yes. But not always the amount I expected and then comes another stroke which again has a mind of it's own and may or may not respond like the first one. So what? Give up? No! But hope works better! Keep going knowing what could happen and knowing that to keep going does bring better results than giving up.
We get focused on what we expect and are often blinded to the smaller achievements and triumphs and become discouraged. Hope magnifies what expectations minimize.
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