Suggestions? One rethinks Wedding plans
Only my Stroke Net family can get this, I am sure. So am going to throw it out there. And I work with plenty of medical people who have dealt with stroke, but not as intimately as all of us have.
You all know Bruce will probably never be continent - mostly when he sleeps. Bruce knows this is the biggest issue between us. We finally have the medications sorted out. Most days the difficulties are just overnight. He is doing at least 80% good with naps. And most of that I know is because I am home at nap time everyday and insist on the routine.
The wedding day. Most brides are thinking of themselves and their entourage. Not so with stroke, being 60 and living with someone 27 years this December. My focus is on family-friend day, thanking all who have been so supportive and just having a party! But most of that is making sure Bruce is comfortable.
Before I even made out a guest list, I started a list for our Schlepp. That tote contains all I need, as a caregiver, to make sure Bruce is comfortable. Telling him to stand up, suck it up or just deal will not work with a stroke victim. At this point, he is controlling everything he can, as best he can. No one is more important to him than me. But there are deficits and one can not just talk them down.
Most public restrooms have grip bars on the right. No good for Bruce. Which means he has to back in - in a WC. Also means I have to deal with a urinal. And that is OK, Bruce and I have it down to a science at this point.
Some want me to send Bruce off with his Godson - not seeing my dress. Dan is 21 years old and his father is well on board with this. Others want me to consider changing after the ceremony. I have waited 3+ years to wear my pretty dress. I really don't want to do that.
My thought has been to keep Bruce to routine that morning. Then shower, dress. Mary and Melissa will be here to help. My best friend Chris will pick up the flowers, license and take over for me at the Restaurant. Chris knows exactly what I expect and want. I will dress later and then I will take Bruce. That way I can insist on toilet routine before we leave, and get there.
Bruce will have one beer. He will need toiletting about one hour after that beer. I am willing to hike up my dress and take care of that. But he will also be out of routine and I am prepared for that. So suggestions and advice. Thank you, Debbie
18 Comments
Recommended Comments