Trying my best
I bought another car. I did not tell my dad and I know he would have told me "not to, Im not ready to drive in the big city, I can't afford the debt", etc but I needed it. My foot was so busted and blistered up from taking the bus. I still use my bus pass but I love having my car if I just need to go down the street to pick up my medicine or get my groceries. My supervisor puts me on the schedule a lot to work until 8pm and they do not want me to wait for the bus late at night because the area is not safe. I tried to schedule the handicap bus to pick me up since I knew I would be getting off work late but there was no one to pick me up. I didnt want to lose my job already for not being able to get to work on time or being a burden to everyone else that has to wait around for me and make sure I get picked up. So I went and bought a car. My credit was good so I financed it and got full coverage insurance. I got points on my license from my last accident so my insurance is very expensive. Im trying to think of new sources of income I can use to pay for it.
Life is going pretty good. Work is perfect. Being on my feet all day standing stooping bending walking is great. I dont get spasms in my leg at night anymore from sitting at a desk all day and I dont get pain in my shoulder from being hunched over a computer screen all day. Rehab finally called but I just got the message today. I will call Monday to schedule OT. I meet with the bioness rep on Monday too. I decided not to buy it. I decided to take some of you guys advice and just accept things. Having my car, living on my own, working a physically demanding job, makes me feel normal and gives me so much more self esteem. I plan to start OT continue to exercise and use the bioness during OT but 1) I dont have the money anymore to pay for bioness since I bought my car and 2) I have so many other things to make me feel normal instead of just focusing on being ambidextrous. If I can do everything I ever wanted without the use of my left hand, why continue to dwell on it? Its been 11 years. I cant stay stuck on the same one goal from 2001. My life has changed so much. My goals are just to take care of myself, be as independent as I can, and in the process dont destroy my knee/ankle/foot, and dont let my fingers tighten back up. I am living the life I always thought I'd never have and I dont want anything to bring me down. Thanks for your advice. I continue to try to use my hand when I think about it and do stretches while Im reading. I got to stop saying I cant use my hand. I use it everyday to hold my toothbrush when applying tothpaste, I use it to hold utensils when washing dishes. I use my arm to carry the mail or my coat and to hold bags of food while I cut them open when cooking
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