Reboot
Why does this happen? Six weeks ago, Bruce had his quarterly Botox. Doctor ordered therapy - paid by Medicare and Bruce agreed. He told me he was "on board" for a new trial and recovery. Therapy re-evals. OT said arm-hand was great, therapist sees some hope there. PT not so much.
I told PT I was on board, but I want independent exercises. Bruce wants recovery, Bruce is going to work towards it. I do have to spot him on and off the bed and his affected foot on one exercise, put the gait belt on his foot for another one, but basically for a half hour workout, not so bad for me.
After 5 days, including AFO all day and walking - not much, but walking, Bruce tells Mary Beth he does not feel therapy is working. I know exactly where this is coming from.but we move forward. Incorporate the exercises and walking into daily routine.
I cut my work hours because starting today the 1/2 session goes to twice daily. Bruce knows it is just a matter of time, when the weather improves a bit, he is outside walking to add distance.
Today, he is a "pill". Knows he has to fit in two sessions of exercise but being Saturday, wants me to drive him around! doing errands. It is raining. I slid on the ramp. There is no getting in and out of the truck, so home early and someone knows he is now on deck - not me!
How do you quit after three weeks? Yes, he did it all including shower. But was so difficult and demanding! And this is not Bruce. I wanted to watch a movie, he insisted on the main TV so he could watch, then made it impossible for me to watch: bathroom, coughing, snack etc. Finally I just stopped it and proceeded with the afternoon routine he is comfortable with including prepping dinner at exactly 4pm - like he has ever missed a meal, but calculated the length of the movie and that did not fit into 4pm dinner prep. I can nuke a TV dinner in six minutes - but still have to start prep at 4pm.
I am thinking tonight that the request for independence and no caregiver means feeding Kira, then TV channel surfing until Ethyl gets home. That is not independence, that is zoning out, not facing reality, not working independently towards recovery.
We start again tomorrow. Debbie
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