Broken toys and Broken dreams
Here's a newsflash-- things change. Things really do change and as it has been said, we have to change with them. Change--that's one thing that as humans we just don't like and we can be really good at resisting it! We often find what works for us and we are bound and determined to stick with it even when faced with evidence that something has changed and it is no longer working. That happened to me and as I read posts recently by other survivors like Fred and Leah and others, I see I'm not alone. All the hard work that got us so far in recovery seems to get us nowhere now, or more discouraging, only makes matters worse! What to do! And therein lies the problem---or at least part of it.
Another part of being human is we think we always have to be DOING something. I think I'm learning sometimes the doing isn't mine to do. Perhaps things are in a state of change again and I just need to wait. Funny creatures, us humans...we don't like to wait either. Seems we don't like much, doesn't it! One thing that as a child I was told often was that when life starts closing doors, God will open a window. Looking back, that's been true but a lot of times I had to wait...and accept enough change to go through the window instead of beating against a familiar but closed door.
Stroke is a big life changer but one thing stroke doesn't change is that we all still age, we still get sick and ailments we had pre-stroke advance AND because we're already weaker because of stroke, each decline seems catastrophic. I don't think that's failure. I think that's life. Acceptance! Not again! We already did that once! Yeah well, it looks like we're going to do it again.
Things are changing and I need to trust that God will help me change with them.
As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
“How could you be so slow”
“My child,” He said, “What could I do?
You never did let go.”
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