No one else to vent to
I feel so lost, I have to lay my Momma to rest tomorrow and I just can't seem to come to terms with it. My family is all together at my Dad's house but Mike is having issues with me being there for any amount of time! I have only been there for about 3 hours without him except when I had to go to funeral home and help with the arrangements, he didn't want to go. I have no one here to talk to. It snowed and kept us home bound for the last two days and today we went to our usual watering hole for coffee and just to get out but they were closed! I just need more human contact right now but he just don't understand that! He doesn't like large crowds so he won't stay there long when he goes with me but he doesn't want me to go and leave him here alone! WHAT DO I DO? I just feel like busting out in tears all the time now and I have cleaned house, washed clothes, done the dishes till there is nothing left to do to keep my mind off of it! I never wanted to face losing my Mom, like I told Mike, before I met him she was my best friend. I could always pick up the phone and know I would hear a kind loving voice! Now it's gone! I think my brother and sisters are a little *beep* at me because I haven't been there more but I help it! WHAT DO I DO? My mind is so screwed up I can't remember what I am doing, I almost caught a pan on fire last night cooking dinner. I forgot I had put cooking oil in a pan and was waiting for it to get hot, next thing I know it has the whole darn house filed with smoke and about ready to flame up! Just got to get a grip on myself!
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