It's Not Paranoia if it's True!
The laminate flooring that was continuous thru 2 rooms (dining & TV) is torn out thru the middle of both rooms. The carpet in the bedroom and my walk in closet is partially cut out (what had sewage in it). The pad is torn out, just a little, in the study, which I had hoped to get replaced and put that room back together. I discovered that the hot water to my bathroom sink was about to blow that pipe, so now that is shut off... I have not replaced the cabinet drawers with my stuff in it, because I don't have it fixed yet... and must decide if I'll replace the faucetts too, kinda old. Can't get out to the hardware store... too much snow, too exhausted. My brain is stymied. I just can't move forward at this point in fixing our home. I can't have workers with ice and snow coming thru all my rooms, I don't want it. There is so much to fix, I feel like I've been sucker punched. It is made much worse by how I got all the main rooms looking sooooo good for son's Christmas visit, and then began to work on cleaning out my walk in closet and getting it all accessible (had been too stacked up to get into. Cleared away moving boxes that had blocked the from of the dresser and put Bob's socks and t-shirts in it, no more living off sliding piles.... and now, back to boxes and bags and sliding piles and inexcessible drawers and wardrobe. There was $5000 damage done to just our house (5 rooms) not including price for flooring and carpet. Don't have that figure yet.
I was thinking there is just a little damage in the study, once the pad is replaced in that small spot, I can move back the bookcase and then take the books back in there and then the study and LV RM would be clear. But, last night when I was going over the wiring to figure out why we couldn't get any satellites on dish (means your wiring is probably loose) I discovered the study wall is all weird and feels strange. It is invisible when you are standing looking right at it, but when on the floor, eyeball level to it:
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN STANDING:
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN CRAWLING ON FLOOR TO FIX SATELLITE WIRE AT EYE LEVEL:
This new find, feels like a sucker punch...another one, I mean. I had just gotten brave facing all the other damage. This means more tear out, more furniture to be moved, more. We just went to bed after I found this, couldn't face more. Bob said he felt like crying. I can't even cry. Just sit around with my eyes bulging out.
I have this paranoia thing going right now. First, I sweat bullets everytime I flush the toilet or do the wash. Then there's the other thing.... it seems like everytime I succeed in overcoming whatever stress is trying to break me, and I think, "ok, so this has happened, but we are still alive and we can deal with it" - then it's like fate says, "oh yea, well take this and see how you like it!" I'm getting afraid to have my normal pollyanna personality, because I'm afraid fate will hit me again. If fate had hands, it'd probably be ducking and flushing my head in the toilet, while kicking my butt!
So many times in my life when bad things happened, or losses, or health problems hit, I would say, "well maybe I can't do that, but I can still do this!" Just to have that slapped away from me next. I even remember when we first moved here and there were a lot of problems and I was talking to a friend on the phone - 'ok, no hot water, no dishwasher running, air conditioner flooded the ceiling, facia, sopphits, gutters need replaced, BUT, I still have a food disposal and I never had one before!'.... and as I said that, the disposal quit working!
You know what they say.... it's not paranoia, if it's true....
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