Hi Again!
Hi Again Everyone!
I really wish I had more time for this, but I'll take what I can get. First of all, congratulations to Nancy on your new grandbaby. I have two myself, it's the best thing ever!
I really enjoyed reading the blogs this week. Of course, I really appreciate your replies to my last blog. You all seem to understand things that I never even mentioned. Nancy, you couldn't be more right about John having to watch me do things and fix things he used to do. Like your Dan, not only could he fix cars, he could fix or build anything. It absolutely kills him to watch me do those things now. And Fred, I read all you posts. As I read them I often think to myself; I hope John can someday do the things that Fred can do.
As I read all the posts, I couldn't help but think about something my Dad and I always talked about. He used to say to me, "Cathy I felt bad for the man who had no shoes, until I saw the man with no feet". I used to laugh and tell him it didn't work for me that way. For me, I would then feel bad for both of them. And then I would go on to explain to him that I have never felt better simply because somebody else felt worse. However, as read all of the posts here on the site, I find myself feeling very grateful for the abilities John has retained. When I read about Julie's Larry having trouble swallowing, I can't image worrying about John getting the nutrition that he needs. Actually, I have the opposite problem, not a darn thing wrong with his appetite. In fact, while he was in rehab they always told him he was a member of the clean plate club. As I read, my heart goes out to all you, survivors and caregivers alike. John's speech and cognitive abilities were not affected. He has however developed what I call a flat affect. He used tear up at the drop of a hat, especially if dogs or kids were involved. Now I am lucky to get a I-might-be-feeling-something look. Although he is able to express himself with words. I just kind of miss seeing his emotions.
I hope that someday I, like Asha, will look back and see this stroke as a "speed bumb". Speaking of Asha, didread some where that you live Manchester, MO? I am was born and raised in North St. Louis County and was living in Ofallon, MO when we moved to Georgia. My husband was born and raised in St. Charles, MO. Hmmmm.......I had some of my best teen years in Manchester. I played fast pitch softball there for the Manchester Hawkettes. Many, many years ago. Had some of my not-so-proud moments there, but boy did I have fun. I was only 16! Speaking of St. Louis, I wanted to let Stingray (not sure of your real name yet, sorry) know that we have already made a trip to St. Louis. John and I actually traveled there in October 2013. I told him that not going home was not an option. We drove and stopped halfway and did great with the trip. We were suppose to be leaving this Sunday for another trip, but we need to delay the trip. We really need to deal with his depression, so we delayed the trip. I have some things lined up that might help. Going to the Neurologist tomorrow and have a new plan for therapy that might give him a reason to get out of bed most days. We have rescheduled the trip for the week of the 4th of July. And Julie, we just might have to swing by Chesterfield and say Hi! And I just wanted to let Englishlady and Asha know that I can only speak for myself, but caring for John is an absolute labor of love. I am sure it is for your husbands as well.
Oh my gosh, I go on. I have eluded to the fact that John is struggling right now. The depression is overwhelming him, but I have some plans to get that dealt with. We will be getting a recommendation from the Neurologist for a Pshyciatrist and I have some plans for his therapy that will give him a reason to get out of bed on most days. Indeed, life can be struggle when living with stroke. But I live by one simple motto. You have two choices in life, you either go on, or you don't. And the latter is not an option.
My Heart Is With You All,
Cathy
7 Comments
Recommended Comments