same old - same old...
we returned to MN as promised to see the baby again with april and weston… and that was wonderful… Dan however was far from "wonderful"… same game different date…. so he won't eat, drink , talk , take meds -- the whole bit , stayed in the motel bed the entire time we were there.. i didn't waste a lot of breath on him and his behavior either… it is what it is.. and with the IV i can at least hydrate him - which i did… so i didn't sit and stress as i used to in the past when this behavior has presented itself… but still it takes away - a lot -- i just loose the "wife" in me cause the caretaker is all that is left.. i mean i can't really communicate with him, when he does this and it is like having a tantruming 2 year old… i am just blowing off a bit of steam here folks so no one panic… lol.. oh and this was before we even left town 2 days before , he had a tantrum and tried to jump pout of the car again cause we turned the wrong direction………. grrrrrrrr, in many ways since he still is so strong from years of old muscle ( the kind farmers have) he can on his only working side, when determined give a real fight… i feel like i live in a carnival or circus or something.. i mean even in the "stroke world" we are "out there"…..behavior wise i mean… i think outside of AZ i am done taking him anywhere…. i just can't do it anymore… i feel bad we never did much always saved our money, waited for "retirement" which is why i have tried to do so much with him, feel he has a entitlement to one - you have no idea pre stroke how hard we worked and saved ( and yes most of us on this site have - but this is my pity party ) lol--- but dan and i never had a honeymoon or anytime alone - we always said we would do "that" when we retire… so i feel like i can't go forward and do this that or the other alone… but after this past weekend - i have 2 choices either we both do nothing or dan does nothing ( but it appears to be his choice ) … i guess like everything - i will take it as it comes ….
so we did make it home - on the way home he decided to eat - we got home i showered him - he was a little "ripe" from his self imposed bed "arrest" ---- so then there is that - being married to a stinker in more ways than one...
one advantage to being gone, we missed the tons of snow that got dumped in ND , still was here when we got home, but had been plowed anyhow…
my microwave ( over the range) quit - so bam, more money shot …… and yep still haven't got the ducks in a row to get my taxes done….
i am gonna quit writing because my whining isn't fun to read or write, i guess i blog just because since i have no friends or family ( the non kid kind) to talk to… this was the kind of stuff my mom would help me with - but wonderful stroke in a round about way took her away to ( died in a car accident when taking care of my house/kids/animals in our car - well shortly after but the accident happened because she was here and not in her little apt- nope here helping me and now she is gone- thanks in a round about way to the stroke) --- ok ok - i promised i would quit whining, goodnite and good riddance to me and this whole past couple days… nancyl
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