Our midsummer update
Figured it’s time for an update, nothing major but we’re moving along I guess.
We go Monday to see the orthopedist, to find out if Ray’s arm is officially “healed”. Luckily the break was minimally displaced, plus it’s his paralyzed arm, so he hasn’t needed a cast or sling. That does makes things tough for me, I didn’t realize how much I used his arms as hoists, to get him up or position him, but we’ve worked it out and I haven’t wrecked my back so far. We’re also finally doing OK in general, getting out on lots of local journeys a few times a week, plus he is back in therapy and they are getting him a little stronger overall. He lost most of his mobility between the terrible weather this winter, and the useless aides who let him sit there without any interaction at all, while he could have been out shopping or whatnot with me. Even if it’s just a car ride and then he waits for me to run in places, so much better than nothing. I never considered how doing nothing would add up over time. I had only just been getting him up again with the AFO and hemi walker and thought things were coming along, until he fell. Now he won’t go up the stairs, won’t even go into the front of the house, stays mostly in the den, and is still sleeping downstairs on the couch. He did go out on the driveway to supervise me yesterday when I cut the lawn, followed by a trip to the local truck for tacos, so it could be a lot worse. And as always, he has a nice tan to show for it all!
I’m always looking for something cheap/free to do, so we went to one of those eldercare lawyer dinners where they were pushing their agenda. This one was about wills vs trusts which is something that is on my mind lately, so I figured what the heck. Ended up being a great sit down meal at a local country club/golf course, with fun and interesting co-diners; an hour of eating and talking at our table followed by an hour of great information from the lawyer/owner of the firm. Unfortunately Ray was being a brat, I told him it ended at 8:00 so when they served the dessert and coffee at that time he started scooting himself out (with his takeout container on his lap! They were very generous) so I had to run. I wasn’t planning on making an appointment to follow up immediately, but their first lawyer consultation is free so maybe after we get back from our trip next month.
Speaking of which, I have been putting off getting on an airplane since the stroke (especially now, after the disaster in the Ukraine) but my sister in San Diego browbeat me into going to a (partial) family reunion in her husband’s hometown of Cody Wyoming. She has been very cold to me since we didn’t go to her daughter’s wedding two years ago, not long after Ray started his seizures and well before we got them under control. I punked out then and I don’t think she had forgiven me. I was secretly pleased she persued the issue until I gave in, hopefully a full reconciliation is in our future. Her husband’s cousins own a dude ranch which we’ve been to before, it used to be Buffalo Bill Codys so it’s somewhat popular. However I am now terrified of Ray’s current unexplained urinary incontinence; when I mention it to his various doctors none have any solutions to share. Is it from sleeping on the couch while I’m upstairs (although I’m a light sleeper and hear him when he calls)? It’s not an infection, we had that checked out. Our last scheduled doctor visit before we go is on Monday so I will corner that doctor (orthopedist, but whatever) for a possible solution. If it involves seeing an urologist, so be it. Ray’s a little better the last week or so, sometimes even makes it through the night, but then it happens during the day. Oy vey (as we say here in NY!).
Anyway I’ve been finding free things for us to do every weekend, not hard where we are, while I have the aide agency on hold. I am getting Ray out often for shopping and errands and whatever else comes up. I may have waited a little too long, but hopefully we’ll get up to speed again. I do worry that Ray is entering some kind of natural decline at this point, but I’m not taking it sitting down!
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