Good morning world! What does today bring?
Interesting feeling today. Not sure if it's just tiredness or numbness. But today is a new day and I plan on trying to be ready for it. This has been a busy week for us and each day has been filled with appointments, therapy, visitors and motivational talks with Ray. I asked him an interesting question about three days ago and got an interesting answer. As he was lying on the couch I asked him. Do you have it in your mind that one day you will just wake up and your arm and hand will just work again? He said well that's what I was thinking yes! I tried to talk to him about it most likely is not going to happen that way. That what we are working on is keeping the arm and hand active with our e-stim and just movement of his arm. And that hopefully if there is some movement in the arm and hand that we will pursue more exercise just like we have been doing with the leg. And at therapy this week, the OT said she did get some movement out of his arm, even though very slight. Which was very encouraging for me. Ray didn't seem to feel the movement. But it was definitely there. He had one really good PT last week, and one where he threw up after a new exercise. It puzzled all of us.
This week was filled with a visitor almost every day, which I have been promoting more visits just to keep Ray from lying down watching TV. I have told him that sitting up, talking to people, being alert is a form of therapy. And I did notice he was more alert during these visits. Even though he was tired when they left. And I let him rest a lot.
My moods have been different as well this past week. Even though I am a totally positive, upper person, I was near tears a couple of days. I never cry and that is a story all in its own, but if someone had said the wrong thing to me, I might have just broke down. I did manage to get away one day and have lunch with one of my sewing buddies and best friend and it was wonderful just sitting and talking about my feelings and what has been going on. A good friend is a sounding board and it was so pleasant to just be out. Then I did my grocery shopping and tried to purchase some new foods. I have been reading about super foods and also foods that help with fatigue.
We had a little rain today which was so nice, as its been hot and dry for months now. Outside just drank it in, although its gone now. I am looking forward to fall and all of the new colors.
Weird, I just started crying and gosh it feels strange. Its a feeling of being alone. I think of winter coming and all of the things I will have to tackle on my own. Ray is the outside winter fixer. The driver if it snows. Guess I will have to put my big girl panties on and figure it out one day at a time. I am sort of laughing inside, my feelings seem to be all over the place right now. I have been wanting to blog for a few days and sitting down writing what ever comes out of my head seems therapeutic! I consider myself a strong lady and I do well under pressure most of the time. But I guess I am allowed to be a "sissy girl" every now and then.
Thank goodness for this site and all of you for me to dump on. I get to dump the good, bad and the ugly. And as so many of you know there are lots of those days when one or all of those feelings pass through us. Well now that I got that out, I guess it's time to move on to the real day and just "do it"! I will do some laundry, help Ray get from here to there and maybe even pull out one of the afghans I found that need to be finished. Am I a coo coo bird? Just reading through this blog makes me think so.
Thank you for letting me vent!
Love, Judy
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