night one with MY new med
so panic attacks are becoming a plague for me… as if i needed another thing to "chew on"…. I went to my PCP and we decided on Buspar --- non addictive ( some of the others are) … I can feel it -- kinda fog me out a little , but hey it didn't keep me down for long…. it is now 4 am -- been up since 1 am -- went to bed at 10 pm…. I do know it will take time, to get the med into my blood stream… but that does me no good - at 4 am - needing to be to work at 9 am… although thankfully my employer is flexible … but my "work ethic is not" ….. I just hope I can over come this… I just want to run away from home… the responsibility , the work, the family, dan and thinking…………………………..all the time ...the thinking , what IF…. and I know the answer and I know "better" which is why this SUCKS -- so much …… I blog this for the next person -- who follows , although I sincerely would not wish this on my worst enemy….
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