I need advice!!
Hello Friends,
About 2 hours ago I wrote a long blog only to loose it because of my internet!! Talk about more frustration today. It's not a good day for me and I need to ask for advice and to vent at the same time.
I haven't blogged in a long while, as my life is pretty busy and mostly because I just didn't need to for a while. But now I need to write!! I have a situation and I need help. I encourage Ray to do exercises throughout the week to strengthen his arm, shoulder and hand muscles. We have been using the e-stim on his shoulder and arm. It has helped with movement. My situation is I can't seem to get Ray to do exercises on his own. If I take him for a walk (which is not that often anymore) cause he is tired. I can get him on the bike on occasion (I fixed it so he could put his feet in the straps) I made a device to work his arms and hands and he will only do it if I stand over him and hold it for him. Today I asked him while he was lying down to try to move his arm which he did and I mentioned that he should try to do that often during a day while he is lying down. He said he would do it later after he rested. Bye the way lying down, watching TV is what he does most!!. He never lets go of the remote. When he does move to his chair, he puts it in his pocket so he won't forget it. That is nerve wracking all by itself. And when he did wake up, he didn't do anymore arm movements like I suggested.
He has speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy twice a week. They give him exercises to do at home and he just doesn't do them. He has never been motivated to do exercises. So I try and get him up and doing things, but he prefers to lie down or sit and watch TV. Today I am just at my wits end. I tried to get him to work with his arm, which he can now move a little. But he said I will do it after I rest. He slept for 3 hours. Then he is now in his chair and he asked me to put the e-stim on his arm so he won't have to exercise it. If the e-stim does its job Ray doesn't have to.
I asked myself, should I just leave him be and let him deal with what ever it is that he doesn't want to do? I say no because he can not walk unassisted and whatever he needs or where ever he goes he needs me there to help him. I have tried to get him to get up and walk in the house a little. But nope, he sits or lies. I am his complete caregiver and I don't mind that at all. But I do mind that I can't motivate him to exercise. And also I am just tired. I have had help a few times, but he just sits and talks with the help and doesn't do anything else.
What can I do? What should I do? I need someone to tell me how to deal with this frustration. As the ole saying goes, you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. And yet when he talks to people he tells them "I am greedy, I want everything back" Yet he doesn't do the work. I believe he just thinks it will someday just return.
This is my second draft today, so I hope I don't loose it hahaha. I was just going to deal with loosing the first draft, but its been two hours now and I can't get over being frustrated. So here I am again. Writing to vent and to ask for help!!
Thank you for being here.
Judy
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