Happy... for the moment
My strokes have made me one emotional girl. I am flying high one minute but fighting tears the next. Then there is me getting angry or frustrated at the drop of a hat. Being home with my parents for Thanksgiving has been great. It's always great to be home with family. It gives me a chance to escape everything thats going on. This year my high school went to the state championship in football. Even though we lost it was great seeing old classmates. For the state college rivalry game my team won after six long years. But why am I on the verge of tears? These are not happy tears but oh my God I had a stroke. Where did that emotion just come from? Since my first stroke I have of course been sad or depressed. After the second one it just became worst. I just wanted to hide. But how can you hide drom your own body?
I am working on getting my mental health together but it's so hard. I have always been a happy positive person and will always try to be that. But man it's so hard. It's also harder not having the support you need. For me I have been the support system for people around me. Now that I need it I don't have it or at least as much as I should. People try but it's hard when someone says I am there for you but then they disappear.
I am still happy for the moment but don't like it when my emotions change so quickly. Grateful to be alive and blessed to have great family support. But living away from them is hard. Hoping for better support and not getting it is hard as well. I will continue to get up each day and push forward but looking forward to when it gets much easier.
This is my first blog ever and hope I wasn't all over the place. But it feels good being here and letting it out.
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