Angry Doctors
I went to the doc today. I am trying not to scream loud enough to break glass. I have been trying to get them to send in a request my PT gave them for a 4 wheel walker for so long I am now walking with a cane LOL. PT says still get one, and she has sent request to them again and again, even my insurance company person is sending them memos to please send in a pre auth request for it LOL! So I go in today and first thing they tell me I am there on wrong day and of course I had my little reminder card to pull out and verify they overbooked and not me. Then I ask about the walker stuff and could they do it while I am in the office. The woman says to me "Do you know how many patients I have?" and I replied "Oh well maybe we can finish it up and mark it off your list and you don't have to worry about me anymore." A savvy colleague taught me to say that when confronted with the "I am so busy" nonsense. I don't know if it worked.
I was there because I am a swollen balloon still for months and I can't wear my shoes. I have a pair I bought in the next size up that I wear. I can wear a few sandals. So the doc tells me that it can't be my heart because the blood test says it it is unlikely so no referral to the cardiologist. He doesn't want to change any of my meds saying I could have another stroke and they are all the same anyway. Then he suggested stopping the Gaba! I have no sane coherent lady-like comment to make here on that. I insisted that I am so swollen and I need help and he went all scary on me and shook his finger in my face and said he would bet money that I was swollen before. I said well I am telling you now that I can't wear shoes and before I could. The doc insisted that he had no way of knowing that because he hadn't seen me before the stroke. I guess lying about wearing shoes to get meds for swelling is a thing? I said I did wear shoes and I sounded five years old. Then I requested to see a specialist if he couldn't help me and he got in my face--and I am siting in a wheelchair--and shook his finger in it and said YOU had the stroke and then he went down a list of things I didn't do to take care of myself which kinda sounded like a fire and brimstone speech if I ever heard one. I felt like crying and apologizing for having a stroke. Then I looked at my family member who came along assisting me and their nose was in the cell phone probably some game thing. That made my good sense return out of the fog and I said I had one last thing on my list and that is to see a pain specialist and he wrote me a rx for a narcotic instead. Guess that isn't on the swelling list? Then he had a brain storm and brought in a sample med he said would help me. It is a new med for Type II diabetes. I said adding it will help my swelling and he said patients lose weight on it all the time. I knew I was so deep in the twillight zone then because I was afraid to ask if it was water weight?
I called my insurance case manager and I said that I didn't get any referrals I wanted which was good for them but that I didn't want to continue with this doctor and I wanted to change just as soon as my walker stuff comes through. I said I want a doc that specializes in the care of stroke patients and I don't care where I have to go but I want real treatment. I am going to do some research on my own and see who I can find but I need to know who is on their list. It is just so hard when I am so miserable. I just can't have another person shaking a finger in my face and blaming me for the stroke regardless if I ordered it with fries or not, I doubt myself and think perhaps I am overreacting now. Is he just trying to help me prevent another stroke? I really don't care. All I know is that he doesn't make me feel cared for and if he ruffled feathers then I don't need to ask why and analyze it. It feels all wrong so it is. It isn't like I don't like hearing to eat more veggies and exercise more, nope it is more deeper than that. The guy always was wrong for me but I didn't want to start over doc hunting.
I go to the neuro next week. I don't like this new world of doc offices and all this isn't what I expected. I thought there would be kindness and competence and cellos playing over loud speakers. What planet was I on?
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