Preparing for what's to come
This is a nightmare that just seems to continue. I cannot imagine how one person can endure so much and still be here on Earth.
Kevin had to be rushed to the hospital on 12/1 due to breathing difficulties. This of course came back to aspiration pneumonia, again! I was away on business when my daughters had to make the call and try to make sure their dad was taken care of. It took me over 12 hours to get home and those were some of the worst hours I have ever spent.
When I walked into his room it was deja vu all over again to what had happened almost a year earlier. He was asleep and not waking up, I knew what had happened. They had given him a Narco for pain at 5:30am and he finally fell asleep at 7:00am with me arriving at 8:30am. I tried to wake him up, he wouldn't. I tried again and again, still the say result. When he finally did come around he couldn't speak. I knew it was a stroke! The doctor said that he had sepsis as well as pneumonia and that it probably wasn't another stroke since the CT from the afternoon before was clear. No, that wasn't it and I knew it, I know my husband, he wasn't right and it had to be a stroke. Two days later my fear was confirmed.
He actually seemed better after this stroke, it was like things had been awakened and maybe, just maybe we could make forward progress. Then the neurologist came in and provided what was yet another gut wrenching blow. His carotid arteries were clear of all plaque, great news. Until I asked what could we do to prevent future strokes. His response did not give us any comfort. He believes he has plaque in his cerebral membrane and there was nothing they could do, "It is what it is" as he said.
We managed to move him from the hospital to a rehab facility over an hour away. He seemed to be making progress but vomiting had started. On 12/28 he was vomiting and had no idea why. I hadn't heard from him that night so I was a bit concerned because once again I was out of town. I flew back home 12/29 as planned and after leaving the airport I received a call telling me that he had been transported to the local ER with respiratory distress and what they thought was aspiration pneumonia AGAIN!
Here I was two hours away and he was all alone. I had my daughter call and say she was me to get an update and she learned that he had declined and was now in ICU. Great another long drive with no idea what I was walking into. His O2 stats were low and the pneumonia was bad. I was advised that they had been suctioning him for quite awhile and pulled out a bunch of junk from his lungs. He's a DNR so once again I was facing loosing him.
He has now expressed that he is tired and that he wants to try one more time to get better but if he aspirated again he was done. I do not know how one person can handle pneumonia twice in a single month especially with all the other issues he has.
He is in a skilled facility now to try to get some sort of rehab. I am praying that this will work but the longer he is in there (went in last Thursday night) the more I feel like he may not come home. He is so swollen on the left side of his body but no one seems concerned about it. His short term memory is even worse after the last stroke. Any benefit that the recent stroke may have provided is non-existent now.
I do not know how to prepare my 3 and 5 year old that their daddy may not be back... If he does come home I am so ill equipped to care for him and our insurance offers no support whatsoever, I just don't know what to day, how to plan, how to prepare, how to be alone.
9 Comments
Recommended Comments