Is it my fault?
I use to wonder what my Mom ment when she said "Be careful what you ask God for." I have been pondering the past years over and over in my head and thoughts of how things use to be come pouring through. Me, working and just doing each day whatever it was I wanted to do. Kids are grown and me finally free of a marriage that had ruled my every moment in life. Mike a free spirit riding his bike and playing in the band, no problems, nothing stopping him from just enjoying his day. Us coming together at a time which seemed so perfect! When BAM! Stroke! That mean monster that stole our lives. The people we were never to be again. In a moment all things are changed. I wonder why? Then as I lie there in the darkness something comes to me, remember when you use to pray to God that Mike would let you take care of him and see how much he needs you? Remember praying for God to show him he needed you in his life? Remember praying that he would one day love you as he had said he could never love anyone the way he did his wife that had passed? Well you prayed for it and now this is how you get it. Is this how God answered those prayers? Could this be MY fault? I have always thought God didn't answer my prayers. Maybe he does just not the way I wanted Him too though.
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