Im too weak
I wish I could talk about what a great time I had in Atlanta. how I took the stairs in my aunt's 3 level house, and did the 2 mile walk with her church up and down hills through the route.
I wish I could talk about how I went somewhere everyday last week, applying for jobs, networking, and hanging out with friends and family.
BUT I ruined it. I had a seizure in my sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning and I completely lost it yesterday. I took the rest of my bottle of prozac and slept all day. My dad came to get me since my therapist called the cops when I told her how I was feeling. I already had an appointment to see my psychiatrist today so I told him I quit my medicine. I already dont have anymore prozac and today I didnt take my klonapin or depakote. He told me if I have withdrawal symptoms, go to the emergency room. Im just tired of this. I hate myself. I can never get through things like normal people. I always have to take it to the extreme and get depressed. I've lost 20 pounds. Ever since I was in elementary school I hated myself and wanted to die before I even had the brain surgeries and stroke. Its just too much and Im not strong enough.
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