Just venting
I vent here because there is nowhere else to say it. Sorry if I ramble but just need to get it out of my head. I don't have anyone else to talk to so tag you guys are it! It's such a pretty day outside and I feel like I could just go back to bed, cover up my head and stay there till I die. Mike is getting more and more withdrawn from the outside world and nothing I can say or do will get him going. We talk all the time about things we will do but when it comes time to go he says he feels bad and wants a raincheck. I thought it was due to all the cold weather but now that it is warm and beautiful he continues to stay in the house watching tv or in the bed. I am absolutely going stir crazy! He says I can go places but I don't have anybody to go with! Everyone has their own lives and it seems like they have just forgotten about me. I use to get calls all the time from family and friends wanting me to do things or go places but that was when Mike needed 24/7 care and I couldn't, now that he is better it's like they don't want me around. My kids, who are all grown, only come around when they need something or when I lay a guilt trip on them and then they only stay a few minutes. The only way I stay in contact with people is through facebook. I feel like I am just shriveling up inside and withering away. For the life of me I can't get out of this funk I am in. I don't know what I have done wrong in my past that I am being punished this way. I pray all the time for guidance but never seem to get any answers. Is this what I was ment to be for the rest of my life? I use to get satisfaction from doing work in the yard but now I couldn't care less if it looks good or if it grows up around me. I have never been a shopper so going out to buy things or just looking doesn't do anything for me. I have been wanting to go back to work but Mike will not stand for it, says he can't do without me for that long all the time. Seems like he wants me in the black hole with him. I just don't know what to do. Seems like he is becoming more possessive everyday. Like I said I just came here to vent so no advise is necessary. Thanks for giving me a minute of your time. Sorry to have bored you to death.
6 Comments
Recommended Comments