I Killed THE Plant!!
I'm sitting with Lisa a few days ago and there is a lull in the conversation. She turns to me and asks how the plant is doing. Now, over the course of 4 months, many a plant has come and gone from our house. When she first went in the hospital she received about 20 bouquets of flowers. Her room looked like a florist shop.
I do not have a green thumb. No slight to male gardeners, but I know 2 things about plants: 1. A dozen red roses are very expensive!! 2. A dozen red roses will get me what I want!! I don't buy them too often. I will surprise her with flowers for no reason. I guess it's the romantic in me.
Anyway, she asks me how the plant is doing. Lisa does not have much of a green thumb either. It's not for effort. Every year, we would go to Menards and buy all kinds of little flowers, she plants them in her "garden", and they're all dead a week later. I find it very funny. She apparently had a plant growing in the house. ONE. We never have plants in the house.
I state, "What plant?". She gives me the look. All guys know the look. She says, "The one above the pantry.". I have walked by the pantry and restocked it at least 100 times since March and never noticed a plant there. I am slow to give her an answer. She says, "You haven't watered it since March?!!" I bust out laughing. She starts to as well, but I know I'm in trouble.
Now, I hate to say this, but I never did that much around the house. Never payed bills, never went grocery shopping, never cleaned that much except for laundry. It was all new to me and took a while for me to develop a system that works for me. THE plant was not on my list of priorities!!!
I am quick with an excuse. I create an elaborate story about how I was jilted by the plant and, in my vindictive nature, hatch a scheme to slowly torture the plant. It got what it deserved. She busted out laughing. I think I got away with it.
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I have been watering the plant every day since.
Butch
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