What the **** is "Normal"???
I've heard so many different experiences of stroke survivors that I don't know what's "normal."
What I've been told doesn't register with what's happening to me personally, and I'm lost looking for answers.
Emotional Lability - I've been told it gets better after 3 or 4 months.
It's been 11 months and I still cry "if the cheese doesn't fit the triscuit" - "if the sky is blue" - "if a squirrel looks at me funny". There is no reason for the tears logically, they just come.
I can have wonderful days where I'm at 98% and then there are days like today.
I have my right arm wrapped in a blanket because it's so cold and it's 92 degrees out here!!! The pain on my right side is more than a dull ache but, less than painful enough to see a doctor, and some days there's no pain at all.
My handwriting goes from almost "normal" to unreadable - changing on a daily basis. Some days I can open jars, knead pasta, even play "here's the church, here's the steeple" type games with excellent dexterity. Some days I can't open an envelope.
I knew there be brusing from the plavix. But, is it "normal" to get bruises when you can't remember how you got them?
So, I might not ever do a cartwheel again, I get that.
But, is it "normal" on some days to lose my balance completely, to get dizzy looking downstairs, to have my leg "disappear" or my knee forget to do it's job?
What the hell is "normal" with a stroke? Should I have good days and bad days? Should I get used to it like it's "normal"?
I asked the Doctor - he didn't know.
I asked the Pharmacist - he didn't know.
Maybe it's not "normal" - maybe I have a dreaded undiagnosed tropical disease? (although I've never been to the tropics - I could have caught it from someone else)
Maybe I'm crazy and I imagine it all - and that's not "normal"
Maybe, I've become a wussy little hypocondriact - but, I doubt that's the case. I'm too normal for that.
Just tell me - Am I normal?
And tell me quick before I start crying again.
~V
7 Comments
Recommended Comments