The Seamy Side of Stroke
Yup day before Christmas and I'm slumming. I am having a bad day.Lots of dark thoughts and I even went and dug the bodies up, they didn't stay buried long enough.
My daughter was over this morning for a whopping 45 minutes, we went outside and she was sliding down the icey snow covered hill on her butt. I was doing my mommy thing and dutifully watching, and clapping and cheering her on and it hit me. I'm missing so much of her daily life. But sometimes it can't be helped and whether I live 800 miles away or around the corner, I'm not there. I'm replaced, out of sight, forgotten.
That was what hurt the most after having a stroke, how easily I was replaced in my own life and I watched it all happen powerless from my wheelchair. I don't like it any better 4 years later then I did when I first stroked. But no sense crying over spilt milk. It happened, it sucked, it hurt but life goes on. Please, no well meaning sentiments involving God, that would make me vomit.
And yeah I'll add this afterthought. This is a pity party for me and I know I was married to a Di** head and not everything is stroke related, I know that.
Maybe I should just air my grievances here, against vegetables, the unfairness of life and X husbands.
7 Comments
Recommended Comments