What do I do next?
I am just at the start of all this I think. I'm anxious to be the way I was but I struggle with the fact that I may never be what I was. I try to learn to be happy with the new me and find out what my new normal is. When I think of going back to work I have a lot of fear of failure. I used to be pretty good at what I did. I was a senior consultant in our company. A lot of people used to come to me with their engineering problems and now I fear having to go to people to get help with stuff that used to be so simple.
The only person I really feel comfortable with is my wife. I kind of "cacoon" in my house. Social situations are hard for me. My cognition has slowed so that I have trouble keep up with conversations. So of course I avoid them.
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