Another Day
Now, I know I am supposed to be happy, just to be alive especially after "the big bad stroke" (thanx Jean). But I dunno, today is one of "those days" it seems.
After a very unrestful short sleep, I awoke to find my daughter home from school YET AGAIN! I can't get all that angry, we've had the stomach flu in house for a week. The other two were just getting out the door (YES I KNOW I am lucky to have a hubby that does am duty). Thankfully, Dave said he didn't have the sign them in late, again.
Sitting at the kitchen table, having my coffee and my morning breakfast of pills, I started to re-read yesterday's newspaper. It's that short-term memory thing I think. Anyway, of all the places in the paper I could have gone to read, where did I go ? The obituaries! Is it because I've had a stroke? or because I'm getting older? (36 isn't all that old yanno...even if my 6 y/o thinks I'm old) maybe because of the jobs I've done? I just don't know but there I sat reading.
Then, in walks Dave announcing he has today's paper. Instantly I close the obituaries, kind of like life closed on those poor people listed, and I took the new paper. I read everything through "Dear Abby" as per usual, then I stopped because of my eyes. Now later today, I will go back and finish reading starting at the business section. But as I sit here writing for some reason I know I'll skip the obituaries, almost like if someone I know has died, I don't want to have to go to any services. Hmmmm just a quirk I guess.
Don't get me wrong.... I am EXTREMELY happy I survived my stroke........ I get to watch my kids grow up, I get to have a relationship with Dave albeit different now. I get to breathe, eat, sleep you know all the ammenities that go with being alive. But today I wanna almost be non-existent.
Can't be PMS.... been through the change already
Can't be depression........ I'm not depressed
But........ Why do I want to be non-existent or invisible?
Who knows maybe the answer will come to me some time today!
Well that's it for my first blog. No idea if this is what it is supposed to be, but it is what it is..... what my damaged brain is thinking at the present!
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