Sandy,

I don't know if it's the same for strokes as it is for TBIs but from reading on the message board, and from my own personal experience, lack of emphathy is not uncommon in survivors in the first year or two post stroke. Caregivers have posted about this and feel this---maybe with a different label attached. Caregivers here have gotten jumped on frequently when, in the past, they've posted about wanting their old husband/wife back and that lack of empathy is a big part of what IS missing post stroke. It seems to come back on its own as cognitive functions improve.

Could it also be that the empathy IS there for John, but he just doesn't express it anymore because of his poor attention span?

Jean

Seven years post major strokes Ray still has no empathy. He lives a bland life mostly. Some little outbursts but nothing I would describe as beyond mild affection. I don't know if he doesn't feel anything much. Or just doesn't have the ability to describe what he is feeling.

Sandy, I talk a lot about not being able to deal with something but find, given time, that I deal with it just fine. I don't want to, but do have the ability to. It's a matter of choice.

Sometimes I discuss Ray's inability to show feelings with friends and in their own circumstances say they would prefer it that way!!

Can't give you any advice so :friends: will have to do.

Sue.

Well if you can find a man that shows empathy....even without TBI or stroke ....in my book you are doing well.

If you dont want him, send him round. I would love to have a man that shows empathy...and he is not the one who had the stroke.

Too complicated for me to think about to say more.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Mary

Mary

John's TBI is a traumatic brain injury which has similar effects as a stroke. he is neurologicallly more impaired than i am, even when i was immediately post-stroke. i was disabled for several years primarily because i had expressive aphasia, dysarthria, and fatigue. his neurological deficits are larger and more severe. one of these is an absence of empathy, which he used to have.

Jean

i don't think it's because of John's poor attention span. i think that one of the problems is that he's back on 120 mg. of Cymbalta, a SSRI like Celexa, which dulls all of his feelings. he is also on Seroquel, an antipsychotic medication, to control his disinhibition and rage. John said tonight that he is in such a rage because of the accident, his subsequent deficits, and his f*****-up faily that in order for him to quiet that rage, he has to feel nothing.

Sue

i have the ability to deal with just about anything, but i believe that, at least today, that i deserve more.

anyhow, the jury is stillout on this issue.....

Sandy

Sandy you are on a rough road, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}.

1. being a MD you have empathy for people.

2. Being empathetic it is hard to undestand/be around "cold/hard" people.

3. Having John's personality change 360* is something I have no answers for and no idea how I would respond. would be like waking up with a stranger in the house.

Really, truly hoping that his rehab will address some of these issues and that circumstances will change for you both.

Bonnie

John's shrink raised his Cymbalta to 120 mg/day (60 mg twice a day) last week. he is starting to change into someone who's more sensitive and less angry and depressed. the day program appears to be helping him as well. i'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

sandy