surviving toxic mothering
so how did i survive both poverty(i was raised in a housing project) and a toxic, envy- and jealousy-ridden mother in childhood to become the person that i am today, with a reasonably sane (most of the time) husband, a lot of friends, an extensive education, a profession that i love and make a fair amount of money doing, four intelligent, interactive cats, a co-op in one of the most expensive and interesting neighborhoods in the USA (true, i bought it over 16 years ago, but how and why i bought it is in a different blog,) an ability to deal with my various and sundry chronic illnesses, and a realitively good life?
i have been thinking of what the answers to this compilcated question were for many years.
i believe that my intelligence played a part in that answer. i believe that my father, who was nurturing and loving, though ineffectual against my mother's craziness, played another part in that answer. i believe however, that other factors, such as psychic resilience, which i believe is part biologicl, are parts of the answer as well.
(BTW, my dad, as of my last conversation with him, is considering going into a nursing home to get away from my mom. i told him that he would have to give up his digital cable service if he went into a nursing home, so that he would no longer be able to watch his favorite Mexican channel (Telemundo) with all of the soccer, wrestling, and spanish-language sitcoms that he loves. my dad is getting along famously with my mom, who has no idea that my dad is feeling this way; my dad slurs his words more than he had to deliberatley when he talks to me, or speaks to me in Spanish, so my mom can't understand him. my dad's nurse case manager is visiting my dad three times a week, a hoime evaluation by a social worker is being performed, and my mom's shrink increased my mom's Lexapro.)
in the April 2006 issue of Clinical Psychiatry News (a throwaway medical journal,) there was n interesting article concerning this very topic.
Personal Resilience Staves Off PTSDCARL SHERMAN (Contributing WriterClinicl Psychiatry News)
NEW YORK
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