A year ago on the 30th May was when I came here. Ray had a stroke on 20th May, only the staff at the hospital said it wasn't a stroke and sent us home at 3am on 21st. I knew it was a stroke, the MRI proved it was a stroke but when Ray and I came home on 21st May 2005 all I knew was that he was weaker than usual, slower than usual and couldn't sit up or stand up without help. Unfortunately after you have had four strokes stroke number five is hard to identify.

When you go into Accident and Emergency (E.R) these day you can be held there for 18 hours or so before your case is assessed to be serious enough for a hospital stay. In A&E on 20th May the doctors all seemed young. Theirs was the experience of the textbook and the computer screen. I remember them asking me:"Has he always had slurred speech? Has he always been paralysed to the same degree? What is new about his condition that makes you think he has had a stroke?" I must have given the wrong answers. Because they sent Ray home at 3am.

"No reason for the stroke, he doesn't drink,smoke, does exercise moderately. We do water therapy one hour a week, get a lot of stimulus in the form of diverse activities.

After six years we know about medication, healthy eating and how to time our activities so that he doesn't tire out. But is is so easy to get complacent and think we have got it right now so THAT will never happen again. And then it does"

I just cut and pasted that into here, it was my second post, on the topic I posted to say how frightened I felt. It was six years out from his two major strokes and I was feeling frightened again. I asked the neurologist: "If Ray is on all the right medications, if his diabetes is under control and his high blood pressure is replaced by a good reading, his cholesterol is no longer a problem WHY is he still having more strokes?" and of course he didn't know either.

This weekend has been an ordinary weekend for this time of the year, yesterday we did some house stuff in the morning, in the afternoon I was going to take Ray with me to a Fashion Parade but Trevor changed his plans and said he would be home so it was fine to leave Dad home for a few hours as he would be here and Dad would be having a nap anyway and would be no trouble. So I was able to go off alone for a change, the way other women do. I did enjoy the parade of winter wraps and slacks and glamourous garments not designed to keep you warm but they did look so lovely. And I had afternoon tea and chatted for a while and then I came home. And the night of the 20th did not mirror last years but turned calmly into the morning of the 21st with out any trouble.

And today went well too. A winter barbecue after church, with Tori and family and an old friend here, and some chat this afternoon. And then a trip to the park with Tori, again with Ray peacefully sleeping a large part of the afternoon away and Trev somewhere on the premises making sure he was still okay by looking at him from time to time. And me getting tired muscles from chasing Tori and a ball around the park. And having a swing with her and talking to some of the other parents enjoying the almost wintery sunshine in the park too. Just a typical Sunday afternoon.

And now I sit here and I can hear Ray peacefully sleeping and I am thankful that another "anniversary" is over for another year. It is one year on from the last stroke, seven years on from the majors, fifteen and a half years on from the first stroke on 9th December 1990. A lot of things have happened in our lives. A lot of trauma, a lot of weeping and wailing. A lot of struggle to get to where we are today. But we are still here. And that is the bottom line.