Coaching...
My life coach has been invaluable to me. Coaching, for those of you who don't know, is a tool one can use to get guidance and advice about how to manage your day to day life. It is most common in business situations...senior executives use "executive coaches" to help them learn the ropes of what it means to be an executive and help them learn balance in their lives.
So I spoke with my coach today whom I've known for almost a year. She was remarking how much has changed for me in a short period of time...less than 3 months...and how much I have managed getting through this process in a healthy way. I was at a retreat seminar with her in July when I first heard about Jane. She had said I walked in buoyant and joyful the first evening of the retreat and by Sunday (the day after Jane's stroke) things had totally changed 180 degrees. And in the 2 1/2 months since then they've only gotten worse in some ways... But what she said that really touched me is that she said it was an honor to watch me and help me move through this process of healing over the last couple of months. That she was pleased and proud I had worked hard to get into such a good space, considering how I had been treated by Jane through all of this.
With her, I am trying to work on balancing my spiritual, intellectual, and physical well being, taking into account all of the emotional issues I've had to deal with. My therapist helps me with my emotional state most directly but my emotional state affects all the other issues so that has to be considered when working with the coach. We don't deal with the emotional issues but talk about how those issues affect my ability to balance the other things in my life. It is great that I can speak with her once a month and then email her all I need during that month. It definitely keeps me focused on the things I find important...my well being, my job, my kids, my spiritual practice... We always leave each session with an action plan so I am accountable for that plan. So far it has been working and if it hadn't been for her I might never have made it through the last two months.
Now we are moving away from issues about Jane and are focusing on how to take the lessons I learned during these two months and integrate them into my daily life. Only time will tell if I am able to keep this mometum. At least I am mindful of what I need to do.
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