Just Keep On Keeping On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really hope that things soon start to get back to normal. But what is normal????????
Right now I know that I am stretching myself beyond the limit. I'm trying to be available to everyone but have forgotten how to take care of myself. Each day brings nothing but frustration and anxiety.
Chris seems to be going down hill. We have a doctor's appt. at the end of the month. I really need to have a long talk with his doctor. Right now he can't seem to use his utensils when eating, alot of his food ends up on his lap. He is still sufferring with terrible headaches. His family doctor feels that they are ocipital neuralgia. I checked it out on the web and all symptoms check out. In December we went to a new neurologist - he claims that the headaches are coming from tight neck muscles and wants to give him 5 injections of lidocaine (at once) in his neck. Chris and I are really against having this done. These headaches act very much like migraine. He gets nauseated, has changes in his vision and claims that Percocet, sleep and a heating pad on his head are the only things that help get rid of the headache. When he gets one - it can last up to 3 days. I have noticed that after the headache goes away that is when he seems to have trouble doing what he normally could do. It makes me wonder if he is having mini-strokes.
Today was a TERRIBLE day. Chris started with a virus. I feel like I have been living at the washer all day.
Tommorrow is the first time my mother and I will be going to my father's grave since his passing. It is his birthday. I am really afraid to go - I don't know how I will react and what reaction my mother will have. I know within time this will all get better but right now it's a rough road.
Before each day would just flow in another - days where becoming easier - but for the past 2 months it feels again just like it did when I first brought Chris home from the nursing home.
I hope soon we find the PEACE we once had.
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