Just for Today", "One Day at a Time", "Think".....these are all familiar little quips to me. Really, when I become stressed it is second nature now for me to resort to one of my Al Anon sayings and to take a deep breath. I did this yesterday - and continue today.

We have been busy making our rounds to some 14 practices and facilities in search of medical records for Bill's lawsuit. Tuesday we stopped by his neuro-ophthalmalogist's office and I said Bill had wanted an appointment way back in September, but he had been in the hospital so I'd cancelled it. They happened to have an appointment for yesterday afternoon so we took it.

Bill has been complaining of problems with his sight I sure haven't been able to explain, and since the problems come and go I've really chosen to let it pass - in my usual "it can't be anything too serious" fashion. Now, to be honest, since it seems to happen sometimes when he moves his head quickly I have thought it is probably the artery that is blocked, but again - it's a transient sort of situation and everything has been so quiet.

The doctor asked Bill about these episodes, asking what happens - Bill's response is that everything just goes "blank". How long? A few seconds - sometimes if it happens in the evening it's the next day before it's resolved. Then the questions came from the doctor - has he had an MRI recently? What artery is blocked? Any other complaints? After his examination came his impressions. Bill has been experiencing classic TIAs that involve the basilar artery deep in the pons. He is going to call Bill's neurologist today to speak with him further since he wants some additional information. He'd really like Bill to have some further testing to see what's going on.

On the bright side - while his window of vision ("sweet spot" as the doctor said) has narrowed and he really has a checker-board field of vision (is it any wonder he can't read?) he can actually see the letters on the exam better than he could last time. Of course, he misses letters completely when he reads across the screen. I thought it was interesting that he said some letters for others, too - i.e. "M" for "H", "V" for "A"......That is stroke related I think because when we are riding he asks me about words and doesn't see the letters as they are - or some of the letters at all - but is it seeing or interpretting? Anyway, if he didn't have all the OTHER issues he could see pretty well!

OK - so my stupid horoscope told me the other day to enjoy the calm because I am in for a rocky ride ahead. That could mean ANYTHING.....but I don't like the doctor's exam and I'm not going to pretend it hasn't got me spooked. (And besides, I don't even believe in those things.)

So, here we go - do we want to know? What can be done? I know there have been some other issues related to the stroke - the bowel incontinency, according to his internist is one example. This is the part I haven't wanted, but we don't always get what we want, do we? One day at a time - pretty good for me to rest in that thought for now!