On Being Strong - or Not
I have often been told how strong a woman I am. When it is pointed out to me I have to admit that at times I amaze myself with what I have been able to accomplish. Most of the time though, I do not feel strong. At the worst of those times I even resent being told that I am strong. Maybe the real issue is that I do not want to be strong. I want to give up. I want someone else to take over and be the strong one.
It seems that I have always been the one making things happen. In my first life I kept a family of seven going. Most people never had a clue that we had problems. I figured it was my job to fill in the gaps were there were shortcoming and difficulties. I did it as best I could. Everything fell apart anyhow. Even though I was good at it one person cannot hold life together for other people no matter how strong.
My second life was different. It was a time of renewal. My strength had been exhausted and was restored during that time. Most importantly, I was taken care of. There were times in the process though that I wanted to just give up and not work so hard at recovery. There was always someone there to push me to get going, as a mother bird will nudge her reluctant fledgling out of the nest.
Aren
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