Courage
I went with a friend today to the doctor. Actually, I don't know her well but we have a mutual friend who recommended she call me.
Debbie just recently found out she has hepatitis C. When she had surgery recently one blood test led to another and she came out of the hospital with a new diagnosis. I thought she called me because I'm a nurse. That was one of the reasons. The biggest reason was that she was scared. I didn't know how scared until we were done talking with the doctor and she broke down crying. I get afraid too but not of doctors.
The whole thing reminded me of an incident that happened about 30 years ago. I'd married a man with a son and two daughters. My own daughter wasn't quite two years old and Annie was just seven. We'd taken a day trip and were exploring a field. My husband and I had wandered a little ways off from the kids. All of a sudden the 3 older kids came running at us screaming. A few cows were walking through and the kids got scared. Annie was out in front and screaming loudest. Then she came to a dead stop, yelled "NOOO!!!" and ran screaming back the way she'd come. She'd realized they'd left my daughter Sara.
She got to Sara before the cows did (there was no real threat) picked her up and ran her all the way to me.
Annie was still scared but she had courage enough to face her fear because it was the right thing to do in her mind. That's what Debbie was doing today. I'm not good at that. If something scares me that much I'm inclined to just not do it. Then I feel worse for being a coward. I rarely think to ask for help unless my back's against the wall. Asking for help scares me too. I'm supposed to be strong. I'm gonna make an effort to change that.
I see heroes every day and what makes them heroes to me is that thy're doing things I think I could never do. Think I'm gonna do one brave thing a day. I might feel differently about who I see in the mirror if I do.
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