Hi Sweetie,

"They" never said that stroke recovery was easy did they dear girl. It does stink, that I'll agree with you on. Stroke is a sometimes impossible pill to swallow. "Murphy's Law" comes into play many times. What I try to live by is this - I survived stroke for a reason not as a punishment. There are days though when I do question this - obviously on the bad days. Those days have become lessened with time though they still occur.

As to going to the amusement park - your Dad really can't stop you if you decide to go. You are an adult now and can make your own decisions. He should only be advising you or expressing his thoughts on the subject. You are entitled to "fun" time as long as you're safe and in no immediate danger. It's hard for some parents to accept when their child becomes an adult - perhaps he needs to learn acceptance.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision AND do well on all your school work as well.

Katrina:

I understand where you are coming from, but I also understand your dad's position. as any parent we are so protective of our children getting hurt unnecessarily. he must be scared fr your safety not because you can't do it but to avoid you from getting hurt. maybe you can tell your dad you will be safe with your friends, and you need a fun break for a change. I am sure he will eventually understands it. I know last year I went to very mild waterpark with my family with lot of anticipation & had great time in rides with my 10 year old son.

have fun & be safe. there are lot of can'ts post stroke life but when you can make them can so much happiness is achieved.

we all love you here and admire your strength & courage.

love

Asha

katrina, i agree with the others. you are an adult away from home going to college now. dad is just concerned for you i'm sure and wants you to be safe, as all parents are. one day you will understand that when you have kids of your own. i understand you not wanting to be told what you can't do especially after you have worked so hard to get where you are at. sometimes our bodies reach a plateau and wont improve anymore at that time, but don't give up its not in your nature. i agree that you need a break and have some fun, it will do you some good. please just be careful and think smart. try not to worry so much about things and enjoy your life. you are here for a reason, like donna said. i liked your poem, it was well written, you are very talented.

Katrina,

Your poem is beautiful, but honey please don't feel that way. Of course I know what it's like to have a stroke and what it was like to be 18. It breaks my heart to think you have to deal with this at that age, but don't offer to give it any more than it has already taken.The pressure and stress of having a lot going on with school certainly doesn't help. You can wait around being miserable until something changes or you can make the best of the moment. Your dad is afraid something will happen to you, parents are like that. I'm 46 years old and when I had my aneurysm, my mother sold her house in New York and bought one right near my house so she could make sure I didn't do things that she didn't think I should be doing. She hides my car keys. Most of her statements to me are still you can't do that...to which I bark back WHY NOT? As I've gotten better and more back to my former self, I sometimes make a run for it only to look in my rear view mirror and see her tailing me. I'm sorry in good conscience I can't tell you to defy your father despite his over protectiveness, although I did it for years ~ so I guess I'm a hypocrite but he just loves you, would rather see you miss out a bit than lose you to something worse, and would gladly trade places with you in a second if he could. You're not going to change him, trust me I've been trying for years, you'll only frustrate yourself trying. Please please don't give up hope for the future or for being happy ~ it may not be in exactly what you think you want, but something you hadn't anticipated.

Maria :friends:

Your poem was wonderful. I echo everyone else and I am sorry to hear your problems but if you feel safe in going and I'm sure your boyfriend and friend will look out for you...go ahead..you are an adult. Let your Dad know you appreciate his concern but you must have a life and do what you can to make it as normal as possible. Talk with your Dad if you can...he just really cares.

when do you draw the line between hope and acceptance?

AS I see it, the answer is NEVER. For your own happiness you must have acceptence but that doesn't mean that all hope is gone. Everyone must still hope - not onlt those who have had a stroke.

I'm sure you have a dictionary. Look up the word "hope". An old Webster I have has hope as being "a desire for something with a feelingn that the desire may be fulfilled". I is a "future" thing; Acceptance is mor final I's say., therefore there will/would always be a line between them and no "when" entering into it.

So what is the answer? I think to make the lovely smile you have and know that what happened because it was known that you would be a true survivor,

I was recently thinking sbout you recently and thought that you are almost finished with your Freshman year at college. A wonderful achievement! I remember how you had so very many concerns about how you would be able to do things like your cafeteria tray, managing on snowy days etc. You did manage everything and did it with flying colors. And..... you will continue to do so. Because, you've "got the stuff" to do it.

Phyllis