Journaling
Looking back over the past , almost 2 years... I wish I had kept a daiy journal. I never have kept one, but It would be interesting to see how far we have come and how the tides of change come and go.
I still stand amazed at how he seems to be fine, like before all this happened, but yet, he really isnt. He is doing very well at hideing his affects of the stroke. and also some what in denial. I have noticed this depression. I do not know how to deal with it. After the stroke, he has been very sweet, and happy. But now he has taken a change. I am wondering if it is depression. I really do not believe I am messing up with everything he says I am. He just seems to be irritated with everything. He thinks his cardio Dr wants him off he anti depressant. But in reality, the Dr was just agreeing with him, that it would be good if he could get off of it. And he gets angry when I try to correct his understanding. I really dont know how to react to all this.
After 35 years of marrage, I dont ever want to give up on him, on us. But sometimes, I wonder If i know him. If I ever knew him. And if he really knows me.
I really think if he would see my psychologist, his antidepresant would be changed, and maybe, just maybe... Things would start being better.
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