I'll be going for a week May 12-16. Texas Assistive and Rehabilitative Services set it up for me. I am looking forward to meeting with the Dr. I have lots of Questions written down (so I wont forget anything). Maybe this will give me some answers. It been almost a year and this will be the only rehab i've had. They tell me I fell through the cracks. Well I'm going to try to make up for lost time.

I'm realy kinda afraid. I'll be alone for a week. Sleeping alone, I have my dog that sleeps with me and when I wake in the middle of the night scared her warm breath is an my neck and calms me down. Does that sound realy strange? Mabe but it's true.

I have someone coming to care for my animals and someone to get the mail. I have a ride to Houston and a ride home Friday.

I went to make copies for ssi and the rehab today. The truth hit me in the face. I worked in offices for years. BUT today I couln't run the copy machine. I just couldn't figure it out and started to panic. I kept thinking I know I have short term memory problems but this wouldn't be short term. Realizing it's more than just short term memory!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I realize something else I can't do I start to panic. The nice lady at the copy store made the copies for me. She didn't say anything but I know she was wondering what was wrong with her. The sweat pouring down my face and Im shaking all over. I just didn't have the strenth to tell her a stroke and then go into details. I tried not to speak much so I wouldn't have to explain that I hadn't been drinking it was the stroke.(it get so tired of repeating the same thing over and over). If you looked at me you might not notice the droop on the rt side of my face, small drag and limp of my rt leg. Unless you spoke to me or asked me to sign something you might not realize. But once I've spoked or written something you would realize something was wrong. lol Some time I just say too much partying last night, some people except that easier!! And If I wrap my hand they wont ask me to write!!!!! I know I shouldn't do that but sometimes I'm just to tired to care. I'm just trying to get threw the day.

Sooo now I think I'm having panic attacks. Sweating,dizzy, feeling like hidding. Are you kidding me. Somtimes when I'm alone I want to panic too.

ok stroke was enough I realy don't need panic attacke too. :yikes:

Well I guess I'll just put that on my list too. I guess I should be thankful I'm here. All I can say is that I want more. I want to not be in pain every day and I want not to sob four hours a day for no reason. Id like to have great dinner and not choke on it. Is that asking too much. ok stop feeling sorry for myself Im here holding my dog and talking to you so I need to stop bla bla bla and get on with life. Be happy for the things you can do Sherry and get off your pitty pot! thanks I feel much better now.

so if your reading this say what ever you want because I wont know lol

but if you want to tell me I could use a different point of view lol You guys help me not take myself so serious and for that I thank you.

Till next time

Stroke Servivor

7/17/07

Sherry