Bare Naked Truth
Sometimes, the truth hurts. Especially when it is the Bare. Naked. Truth. I've been in, and seen people in, denial about the truth - willing to argue that it isn't the truth. I know that each person's perception is their reality and when someone else points out what seems to be a truth to them, it creates a dent in someone else's reality.
Here is the nitty gritty: The most difficult Bare. Naked. Truth. I had to deal with came a few short weeks after the stroke. No one, absolutely no one can help the stroke survivor. All of the work has to be done by the survivor. There isn't any neosporin, band-aids, cold compresses that another person can do/provide to help. No matter how caring or giving a caregiver is, the stroke survivor is the only person who can wage battle to improve. This cold hard fact became real to me when at one point, I laid on our bed crying uncontrollably and begging Bob to help, please help. Couldn't he just take this away for a day, an hour, a minute? It was unbearable to deal with. I know he felt terrible that there was nothing he could do. I had to deal with it. No one else could help - no talking, therapy (physical or otherwise), nothing could help me deal with it - it was all me.
Current truths: the stroke has left me with oddities;
My hair isn't the same, it is coarser and wilder that it ever was before.
I used to have a great memory - not so much any longer.
I am jealous of people who seem to walk so easily without thought.
I have almost overcome the impulse control issues - really weird and difficult to deal with, but I am working on it and am feeling successful on that front.
I am working on dealing with people - I seem to have a difficult time with small conversation and relating easily.
I am working on being more positive. The negative feelings seem to be easiest and rise to the top faster so I need to work on being more positive.
I was a work-in-progress BS (before stroke) and the stroke just added to the pile and seemed to take away previous progress. No worries, I'll get there again. (see? positivity in play!)
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