School=Disappointment
Right now I am at home watching tv. Back in high school, it was depressing to sit at home watching tv on a Saturday night but right now, this is the best feeling I have felt all week. Yesterday was the first time that I cried in a while. I guess I had been holding everything in and accepting it and trying not to let it bother me but I guess it just all hit me at once. I currently have an A in only 2 out of my 5 classes. I have not passed any of my Geography or Biology test. It just makes me feel so stupid. I only see my boyfriend a couple of times a week and I barely eat with friends in the cafeteria, I don't go to any event on campus and this semester I am not doing community service. I dedicate ALL of my time to studying just to get Ds and Fs on the exams. I feel like school is the only thing I am good at so when I fail at that, I feel like I fail at everything and it makes it harder for me to see anything good about myself. On Friday I talked to my Geography teacher and my advisor. My Geography teacher agreed to work with me and assured me that it is not too late for me to get an A since Exams are only 25% of my final grade but there is still pressure since my highest grade on exams this far was a C. My advisor reminded me that college is about learning, not about keeping a 4.0. I decided in my blog about acceptance that I would not let a 4.0 GPA define my happiness but there is so much pressure. I just got accepted to the new honors program and I have to keep a 3.3. I do not see myself going below that this semester but there is still pressure to keep my gpa up for my resume and just in case I dont do well in my 300 level classes next semester. Midterms are in about 2 more weeks so I have been very stressed lately. I just hope you all will continue to pray for me. I will continue to try my best
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