17 years ago today.......
August 15, 1992, 17 years ago today, I gave birth to my daughter Kristina Lynn. As I am writing this entry I am tearful. Not all the tears are joyful ones either. Yes, yours truly has plopped on the that darn pity pot and I'm not standing up off it to easily to flush the bugger. By the time I'm done, I'm going to have a major clean up operation but that's ok.
The birthday girl is off for the weekend to my niece's house. She'll be home Monday evening. This time alone will give me the chance to regroup myself and get ready for the next teen onslaught.
Kristi is basically a great kid; however, she lapses into moments of total stupidity - like breaking curfew on the eve of her birthday. She rolled in the house at 1:20 am. And of course I was told it's all "my" fault. The child who once told me that she was glad I had the stroke as I was such a workaholic and was never totally "there" for her. In retrospect, I see that - she does not see though that yes I was working so hard to pay a mortgage, home owner's association dues, utilities, car payment and upkeep, clothes and of course food for our tummies. I digress....last night I was told that she is now so to speak getting even with me for not being around as much as I should have been. As a single Mom I thought I was doing my best - guess not. Therefore, she's doing these stupid things as payback.
Normally, her birthday each year for me is a totally happy experience as she was my miracle. This year though is different...in reflection, I wonder if she would have been better off had I placed her up for adoption after her birth. Especially now since the stroke. Last evening not only did I hear she was getting even but I also heard that I care more about people here than I do her. Once again, it's the thing where an outsider, even my own flesh, blood, and DNA doesn't "get it".
Sorry to ramble gang. As Scarlet O'Hara said so profoundly, "After all, tomorrow is another day"
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