Bernie and Me, The Quick Saga to Date
1965 I met Bernie (Bernadette) and she knocked me for a loop (now she does that to herself). I was just discharged from the Marine Corps, I didn't care about any wild oats, I wanted her.
1967 We were married. She was a baby, 20 years old, I was a baby too 22 years old. I think now and I think kids shouldn't be able to drive until they're 25.
1970 Bernie had a serious back surgery due to scoliosis. Nine vertebrae were fused together and she had a couple of stainless rods put in her back. As part of the surgery, one of the units of blood was tainted with Hepatitis C (bummer). She fought that off at the time just fine. My first Caregiving stint.
1972 Our First Daughter was born. Katie, who later on would turn into our Cindy Lauper and teenage terror, and mom to a son. BA (legal something) I can't recall, Central Florida, she works as a Paralegal.
1974 Our Second Daughter was born. Karen, the thinker, debater and mother of two girls. BA (Economics) University of Michigan, works as a Purchasing Manager
1976 Our Third Daughter was born. Annette, the all around stick to it, get er done mother of two sons and one daughter. BS (Chemistry) Wayne State University, PhD (Organic Chemistry, University of Notre Dame), she works as a Project Manager for Dow Agro.
1978 Our Fourth Daughter was, (just kidding, only three and done, we knew our limits)
1978 through 2000 were our productive, raise a family, further our careers, full of life's ups and downs, and births and deaths.
2000 December 19 th Bernie noticed her ankles were swollen, she talked to her sisters about it and they said to just raise your feet for a while and you'll be alright. It didn't work. I told her to get to the doctor asap. She did the following day. The doctor sent her to a specialist, her Doctor Bellovich, a nephrologist, for diagnosis, he's still her doctor and her piece of eye candy. The worst happened. Bernie's Hepatitis C, from 1970, had come out of dormancy and flared up. Her own antibodies were fighting off the Hep C, but her antibodies, so large, plugged up her own kidneys and killed them. It's called glomarulonephritis. It devastated us. Dialisis clinics are some of the saddest environments I have ever been witness to. ( my second stint as care giver)
2002 Party! Party! Bernie's younger sister gives her a kidney. How sweet it is. For 8 years now that kidney has worked perfectly. Cruises, Vacations, bought a cottage up north and had a blast. Bernie's blood was never cleaner.
2008 June, Florida, Bernie could hardly walk. Back home (Michigan) Bernie's diagnosis, severe anemia 6.4 on the hemoglobin scale. We really don't know why, all we know is that we have a new set of Doctors. Crap, here we go again. They won't let up on my bride.
2008 August, a scan of my inflamed gallbladder also revealed a spot on my right lung (I quit smoking in 2003). The biopsy revealed a cancerous tumor. They took out the lower lobe of my right lung. All biopsies of the lymph nodes in the area showed this thing did not spread. How lucky do you get in life. Bernie was my caregiver through my 4 sessions (3 months) of precautionary chemotherapy.
2010 April 8, Bernie started having headaches. The MRI revealed a brain bleed. April 19th Bernie had 2 holes drilled into her scull and Dura to flush the gooey blood out. It didn't work. April 26th (2) 2" diameter pieces of scull were removed to peel the gooey clotted blood off the brain (ICU stay started). The brain started swelling so on May 6th a full decompressive craniectomy was performed to accommodate the brain swelling. Bernie spent 15 days on the ventilator, in a coma for several of those days, I went through the wringer.
2010 June 4th Bernie finally comes home. And the care giving on my part begins. WOW! This stroke care giving is the real deal. Bernie still has the huge piece of scull missing. We are anxiously waiting for an acrylic prosthetic scull piece to be made, hopefully any day. She still has another surgery facing her to put things back together. I wait with her, feeding tube nutrient in one hand and Kleenex for the drool in the other. She is a fighting Irishman and doing her best.
So that's Our Saga for now, oops I hear the dryer going off, gotta get the laundry.
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