I love my son so much /2011 will be a good year for me
I cant believe it has been a week today since my little brother went into the hospital. 2 days later, Xmas day, he left us. Today was the funeral service. It was a beautiful service. He had a living will and he had planned everything to the last detail. His wife had only to follow his precise instructions. The priest told us there were 500 people present. My brother had touched so many people and all of them were present. After the service we were invited to the church basement for a glass of champagne to toast my brother. Before we went down they played I did it my way by Frank Sinatra. Could not be more fitting because my brother did it his way. I dont think he had any regrets, he did it all. My parents are so proud of their only son. We all ended up at my parents place after. My Dad needed people around him. He was strong all day, holding everything in. I had not gotten the chance to give my son Dan his xmas present. When I gave it to him, I told him I had no idea what to get him and that Andre suggested a nice pen to sign his contracts for his work as a real estate agent. He wanted me to get a Cross pen which is one of the best here in Canada. Dan left before I did.
Before I left I called Andre who had stayed home today because he had a bad virus, fever of 101F.
He felt bad about not being there for me plus he felt bad about not showing up at a very important family event since his re entry in the family. Everyone understood that he was sick and didnt want to take a chance of spreading his germs. When I called him, he told me something that made my day, my week, my year.
My son called him to say thank you for the pen, that He knew it was his suggestion. They had their first conversation in 5 years. Dan told Andre that He wanted his family reunited. He was waiting for Marc, his brother but no more he said. Marc can come back to the family when he is ready but he, Dan was not waiting anymore. Dan also told Andre that he wants to get together with us next week to introduce his new girlfriend.
I did not meet Dan's new girlfriend. I saw that she was at the service but she left after. Dan explained to me that he told her he wanted to stay without her today because he felt it his duty to look after the women in his family today. I did notice how attentive he was today. If someone needed something to drink, a chair or his arm, He was always at the ready to assist whether it was my Mom, my sister, my SIL or myself. He asked my keys when we were ready to leave and he went to get my car and parked it beside the door so that I did not have to walk too far.
I was so proud of my son. He has become a man any mother would be proud of. Him calling Andre like he did was the best gift he could ever have given me.Andre was pleased with the call as well. He has felt guilty because when he came in my life, I lost my family.
My other son, on the other hand, never addressed a word to me. Just before he left he said bye to me as if I was a stranger. never even wished me his condoleances. I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to me and I said. Look how fast uncle Guy left us, before I could make things right between us. Please dont let that happen to us. He pulled away and said he diod not want to talk about it and he was gone. I am so very sad about that. I hope that some day, we can put this feud behind us and be a family again. I have one son back but I am greedy, I want them both in my life.
All in all, I had holidays that were very hard emotionally. Ups and downs. Who knows, maybe 2011 will be a better year for all of us. The year is starting well. Andre feels better tonight and we have plans to dine with my parents, my sis and her hubby, New Years day. The year is starting really well for me. I am happy.
I hope you All can read this. So many emotions going on for me. I feel like what I wrote does not make much sense. I am sorry for that.
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