Dammit, dammit, dammit!
I tried. I really tried not to let that person in the break room bother me. Unfortunately, I still don't seem to have a whole lot of control over my emotions.
As soon as I made the last post, the one where I thought I was doing so well and had found a better way to deal with the situation, a co-worker asked me a question. As soon as I opened my mouth, I started stuttering........BAD!
That is what happens every time I get upset, excited, anxious, angry, sad, etc. Either that or I start coughing to the point of throwing up. Dammit! I wish I had more control over my reactions!
Ok, I need to calm down. I need to get back on an even keel. I'm writing about it so it is out and won't bother me so much. Step 1 complete. I put a music cd in my computer. Music helps me relax. Step 2 complete. It's just a littloe time now.
On a side note, my boss heard the stuttering and came over to my desk to see if I was ok. I explained, as best I could, what had happened and that this is just what happens under emotional stress. He was very patient, listened intently, then asked me if I needed anything or there was anything he could do to help me. He also said he would talk to HR about the incident if I wanted him too. It still surprises me, sometimes, how understanding and supportive he is. I don't know of too many people who could say that about their boss. I'm thankful I can.
OK, I'm starting to feel like my engine isn't reving so hard or so fast any more. This is helping. I'll be ok.
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