Never done a blog before so I will be jounalizing my post stroke life
Post stroke--font has to be bigger so I can see it better. I even had to get reading glasses so I could read the newspaper.
Well this post stroke journey is very interesting to be. I am a social worker, by profession, I help others, I make referrals for people to get help into their homes, to help with personal care, disabilities, their children. Being on the other side, needing to have other help me has been very difficult for me. I was especially disappointed with my office (its a social worker office so you would think care/compassion/helpfulness), NOPE! that's not what I found; I found that I was replaced (I am aware that the work needed to be done while I was out sick, but I was totally replaced). My office was cleaned out of every personal item that was in there and locked away in storage. I wasn't able to come back to work full time so I was not allowed to be a supervisor. I had to have reasonable accommodations to have a part time jobs--luckily something I like to do and have good contact with clients and families. And I know that I am lucky to be able to work at all. But it has been very difficult to go back to work. My co workers are nice but don't know what to do/think about me. Do I remember things? Do I remember them?
I feel like the stroke stole my idendity. I can't be a social worker supervisor, I am not strong even now (physically or emotionally), the brain surgeon cut off all of my long blond hair (and its coming in now but short and I am not a short hair person.). I can find a new me, I have done it before, but I don't know what/who that new me will be. I don't know who it is that I want to be...
I want to keep my compassion for others, but not be quite so emotional, crying at the drop of a hat. And I want to continue to do something meaningful with my life. I was thinking that I am almost one year post stroke and 'should' be doing things at a 'certain'self-imposed level, but from reading the forums and blogs, the recovery goes on for years and years. I can prepare myself for that, I am a life long learner so I will just learn more about stroke recovery. I will need to find some more good sites about the lifelong stroke recovery information.
The blog feels good to write; I have been journalizing for several months now. but blogging feels good too. See you on the next blog. Maybe I will have a topic to write about instead of just rambling on for a while. Blogging is very freeing. I like it.
Marcie
Brainbleed 5-9-10
6 Comments
Recommended Comments